Reflections upon the... keyboard.

I've moved!

2007-04-19T23:04:00.000+08:00

http://cheekane.multiply.com

thats where i'll be posting for most of the time.

Valentine's day

2007-02-14T21:04:00.000+08:00

Today, is Valentine's day.. Here's my memoreis of V-days in the past, the only few..

J1: We had a MEP V-day concert (one day before Vday though)! First time I sang solo, which i managed to do quite badly, we had a whole 1 hour concert that was so well attended that pple had to sit on the steps/squeeze outside the door of the then LT3 in Mt Sinai! And we were worried that nobody would come, what a surprise!

The concert was titled L'amour, with posters and banners duly designed by yours sincerely. Dont have a soft copy of it cos did everything by hand, but it was up around the school, showing my 'artwork' for 2-3 weeks muahaha. We were proud that we were one of the quickest MEP batches to come up with a J1 concert so quick, within 6 weeks of starting school! Hehehe and our concert was so successful, we were so high after the concert haha, we went around selling flowers, and 'busking' into the teacher's staff room HAHA holding flowers in our hands, we just burst in, cornered a teacher and just sang amigos para siempre Hehehe so fun! Our teachers were very high too, and we had one whole CD of photos of everyone during the concert, and then got roses for everyone. Lau gave a rose to every girl (waaa). After that, we went to Jelita for pizza hut, i rmb that before that i had always wanted to eat there with someone else but never did, and then poof the whole class just went tog hahaha, oh wells, quite fun, with jokes and games and all that. After that, went for Chorale chalet (yup was still in chorale then..) where i spent the night playing card games, the morning soccer, and the later morning on V day itself with bonding games, and then i went home. Yar, i went home. Heh But that was a very enjoyable V day, that our whole batch wanted to do another concert and so on wahaha which we finally did again in J2 but was a totally different meaning one..

J2: all the girls in the MEP class gave all the guys something. Came in one big packet, that i still dont know who gave what except for a few obvious ones. Got a rose from a guy too HAHA not that I'm gay but then my junior was so popular that he had too many roses that he decided to share hehe. Was in a hopeful mood that day, only you will know why =) But nothing happened in the end, and went home. Haha, again.

06, last year: stupid V day was spent in camp, with 200 other guys in my company in Tekong. but had gone out to celebrate, specially, on the saturday before. watched the movie 'Walk the Line'. Not a very happy day though, felt quite sad and disappointed at the end of the day, but then we were happy again the next day. =)

07, today. Ah, another V day alone. But am happy, for a phone call all the way from Aus =) Well, looks like this will keep happening for about 6 more years, haha..

V days before that never had anything happened. What will happen to V days after today?

ch

Wherever happened to 2006?

2007-02-08T23:47:00.000+08:00

2006 passed without me saying anything about the previous year. Oh wells, for lack of time heres what it is:

I had an eventful year, mostly happy. Details below:

Jan-Mar: BMT. bleahx.
Jan: Got back my FTCL results: I PASSED!!
Feb: A Levels results: haha yay 4 A's, the envy of many. but seriously, i dont care..
March til present, got posted to MDC.
all the stupid stupid performances here and there
Aug: Trinity High scorers concert which i screwed up..
Dec: Erhu Grade 8 (NUS): Distinction

So where does that leave me now? blogging at this hour of the night HAHA, well i'm still doing a lot of stuff in camp, that i dont really want to do. Yet, my responsibility beckons. And when i'm given a responsibility, i get it done. Part of me wants to do a bad job so that I won't get anymore jobs, but then the bigger part of me gets the job done well. Damn.

Really wish I'm in Melbourne now.

Ok, this year, must really start doing certain things, now that I should be able to manage, without emotions getting in the way. Ok thats a really bad way to put it, but in english, through separation, then can we get things done. Its temporary though. But yes, one step at a time.

-Apply for Uni
-Learn a foreign Language
-Learn to drive
-Take part in competition end of year
-Erhu Diploma.
-Go overseas for a holiday
-Strike the $2million TOTO hahahaha

ok sleep.

CV, Name Card, Advertisement, etc.

2006-09-05T22:42:00.000+08:00

Mr See Chee Hang
DipABRSM; LRSM; FTCL in Piano Performance
LTCL Distinction in Piano Accompaniment

Solo Pianist
Piano Teacher
Piano Accompanist

Email: c.h_see@yahoo.com

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Qualifications:

Fellowship of Trinity College London (FTCL) in Piano Performance (2005) -- High Scorer
Licentiate of the Royal Schools of Music (LRSM) in Piano Performance (2004)
Diploma of the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (DipABRSM) in Piano Performance (2003)
Licentiate of Trinity College London (LTCL) Distinction in Piano Accompaniment (2005)
Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (ABRSM) Theory Grade 8 Pass with Merit (2002)
GCE O Level Music Grade A1 (2003)
GCE A Level Music Elective Programme (MEP) Grade A (2005) with Merit in Higher Music

Experience

Accompaniment
Numerous accompaniment experience, including that for:

DipABRSM Exam for Clarinet
ATCL Exam for Violin
Grade 8 Exam for Voice
A Level MEP Performance Exam for 3 Violinists and 1 Cellist
O Level Music Performance Exam for 1 Clarinettist and 1 Pianist
School Performance for 1 Flautist
Recording for MEP Scholarship Application for 1 Violinist
Audition for SNYO Concerto for 1 Cellist
MEP Concert for 1 Violinist, 1 Cellist and 1 Vocalist
Concert at Afternoon of Poetry and Music, RJC for 1 vocalist
Chamber Music Masterclass @ Birmingham Conservatory, UK for 1 Violinist
Concert @ Birmingham University, UK for 1 Violinist

Performance
Performed on the following occasions (2004-2005):

13 Feb 2004: Raffles Junior College MEP Concert as Singer and Accompanist
12 May 2004: 440, Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble Debut Concert as duet partner
2 June 2004: Baroque Masterclass @ King's College London, UK
4 June 2004: Concert @ Birmingham University, UK as duet partner and accompanist
4 June 2004: Chamber Music Masterclass @ Birmingham Conversatory, UK as an accompanist
20 June 2004: Noteworthy, Raffles Junior College Chamber Ensemble Alumni Concert as trio member
7 July 2004: Afternoon of Poetry and Music of Raffles Junior College as an accompanist
4, 11, 18 Aug 2004: Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble Lunchtime Concert Series "Monochrome" as duet partner
22 Oct 2004: Raffles Junior College Open House Music Marathon as accompanist and duet partner
3 Dec 2004: Busking outside Paragon Shopping centre as part of Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble, taking part in Orchard Jam organised by Arts for Us All (AFUA) as soloist and duet partner
14 Jan 2005: De Profundis, a fund-raising concert by Raffles Junior College MEP for Tsunami Victims as accompanist
16 May 2005: For Eurydice, Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble Concert as a soloist and duet partner
21 Oct 2005 Raffles Junior College Open House Music Marathon as soloist and accompanist
20 Aug 2006 Trinity High Scorers' Concert 2006 as soloist

Recordings
Recording of compositions premieres of the following genres:

Piano-Violin duet
Piano-Voice duet
2 Pianos
2 Erhus
Piano Solo
Piano Duet: On Piano strings
Piano-Violin-Clarinet Trio (Own composition)
Piano-Temple Blocks-2 Erhus Quartet (Own Composition) both as pianist and erhu-player

Competitions
Competed in the following:

Catholic High Music Awards: 2003 Finalist
National Piano and Violin Competition: 2003, 2005
Vivace Piano Ensemble Competition: 2005 Consolation

Other Achievements

Co-founder and Chairman of Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble in April 2004
Organising Committee of Vivace Piano Ensemble Competition together with Victoria Junior College
Organised a Music Camp for Henderson's Child Care Centre on 24 - 26 Nov 2004 as part of Raffles Junior College Piano Ensemble's Community Invovlement Programme

Other activities invovled in

Composing
Arranging
Transcribing
Amateur Sound Engineering
Amateur Live Sound Balancing and Lighting Personnel

Current Organisations

Edward Becheras Vocale:Alumni choir of Catholic High School Edward Becheras Choir
Vocalise
Singapore Armed Forces Music and Drama Company String Ensemble Keyboardist

Updates... or not.

2006-06-25T21:43:00.000+08:00

Havent been blogging for a very long time.. lazy to blog now also. haha. wait for updates ba.

Being talkative and friendly

2006-05-28T22:00:00.000+08:00

Sometimes its good u know, to be a bit more talkative and friendly. Today was like how unfair, there was a bus back to company today after Pride day for us to bring the instruments back. BUT, there bus will only drop us at company and then disappear!!! as in, no disposal. somewhere up there screwed up so bleahx. yucky right! so anyway, we were thinking, maybe we ask the bus driver to send us down that hill back to the guardhouse after we unload, so we dun have to walk so far. then after we board the bus, we were asking the bus driver (who got pissed because he got lost and was late for reasons to be revealed later) if he can send us back down to the guard house. then the uncle super angry lorh, he complain that its late, and he got other places to go, and grumble grumble. so. no definite answer, but most probably no. then when we reach the camp, i go to the front and show the guard my camp pass. then started chatting with the uncle. in the end got him to send us down, cos assured him that we wld take less than 10 min to unload, so he say okay larh, but must be fast. so we super fast leh! then we got onto his bus down, i thought he would be going back to HIS company to change bus, and i know his company is at Yishun Ave 7, so he wld pass by khatib. so see if i can hitch a ride home. then uncle say, he going home! then i thought, if he live anyway in North or West, some of our guys can go home earlier already cos it was already 8! or pass by MRT or soemthing cos Nee Soon Camp is super ulu. so asked him where he live, at first he say yishun, then i push a bit more he say khatib, then i say i also stay khatib can drop me off at his home there or not cos dun want to trouble him to make extra turns. then he say can. then i went back to the rest of the guys ask arnd see if anyone want to take train frm khatib, but only 1 say want. so in the end, i got sent home and that guy got to go home faster, and we all didnt have to walk down from company.

so it pays to chat with people whom u need favours. by chatting i dun mean irritating, but friendly chatting. instead of just demanding. and expecting people to do it. we should never take others for granted. even if others are nice enough to do things. you will never know if the person in the end hates you for it. you think its alright, the other person may never think so. you think its okay, you probably have just made an enemy.

ch

one more day..

2006-05-28T00:12:00.000+08:00

.. and all this madness of shows is over. currently i have like 10 days of OFF accumulated after tmr, and afte rthe block Off on monday its 9. whoa. thanks to opera and pride day.

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MDC MDC.. about the only non-combat unit that works odd hours. Still people envy us. Why?? ok fine, no marching in the sun, no boring things to do, no rifle cleaning, no clerking (ok at least for the performers), no strict regime..

swap that with:

heavy double basses, keyboards, amps, yucky accoustics at show-grounds, non-understanding people, boring shows, no space for personal improvement if you're an NSF, low pay, really bad timings, ... ...

oh wells. maybe being a clerk is better...

so much for being more productive.

ch

a ....... week

2006-05-23T21:33:00.000+08:00

can you believe it. i'm going to work for 8 days this week! yar believe it. cos:

Monday: School Show
Tuesday: School Show
Wednesday: Night Show but reporting in the morning because Paul wants me to (half day OT)
Thursday: Report to camp as usual
Friday: Mindef Pride Day show in the morning and another show at night (half day OT)
Saturday AND Sunday: Mindef Pride Day Shows! 2 days OT!

So. 8 days. wonderful.

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When people ask me how's life, how do i answer? Or what am I doing now.. Or how's MDC? How to answer?

- Great! slacking during NS
- Not so great, doing lots of work during NS
- Great! Am in MDC, even though still busy, but not as bad
- Not so great, am in NS, cant pursue what I want.

I found out that i may grow up and become a workaholic. bleahx. as in, yar i like slacking, who doesnt, but then my hands get itchy. So i find things to keep myself occupied. which sooner or later sees me getting busier, then i hate others for slacking. okay hate is such a strong word. nvm.

Yar. I cant stand it when people slack! As in, well, i slack too, and I dun exactly lash out and kill everyone who slacks, but if you want to slack, dun boast! dun come with an attitude!

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Life isnt about You, Your choices, and Your life only. If something was hard, take it as a challenge, and do it well! If all you can say is "its too hard" and want to get away with it, then maybe you shouldnt say anything and just disappear. I understand its hard. Maybe it would be better if you make a joke about it. or make a joke about your attempt to do it. then it wouldnt be so bad. anything but just standing there and complaining with the voice that means "the whole world owes me my life". if its not fair to you, what about others? to be more selfish, what about me? whats all that crap about 'aiyah you have the ability to do it?' when nobody, and i mean nobody, sees me with all the practise that i put in? at least i HAVE a piano AT HOME, and i bring home my scores. i admit, i do whine. i do complain. who doesnt? but at least, after that, dun expect the whole world to solve the problem for you!!! in short, its YOUR problem. dun like it? scram.

and then you complain about me.

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and i realise, a lot of people do not understand what it means to practise.

i mean real practise.

useful ones. productive ones.

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i wish i could be more worried about work then to be angered by people. perhaps, if i had been combat fit, i would have been in hell right now. but. i wouldnt be here ranting about people, i would be here ranting about the activities i do. .. .. .. ..

i'm irritated.

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I've actually deleted what i wanted to say in this part. i dunno why either.

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im having dreams. about work! and its never good. and some i can remember. sheez. am i that stressed about work? why cant i dream about nicer things? =) ?

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ch

End of a busy season, and...

2006-05-17T22:18:00.000+08:00

... start of another...

Ok its high time I updated. Firstly, Opera's over! But a lot of us have opera fever now HAHA we can go around saying tok chiang and all that, and even up to acting out scenes of the opera! hmm SAF MDC Yue Opera troupe!!! Haha..

In the end, it was actually a bit enjoyable, laughing at the out of tune parts, suddenly craning the neck to see the translation, laughing at the 'guan ban ban shi fa-hao ban' (官辦辦是不好辦）and all the 'gua bu de', 'bu neng da', yar it was fun...

Then the PE concert is over! And it received good comments mostly yay

and so its back to the life in camp. bleahx. and suddenly so busy. Back on tuesday (yst), then today got school show, friday got show, next week mon, tues, thu, fri, sat, sun got show whoa!!! busy season after busy season. bleahx. but yar, show better than getting stuck in camp and listening to ... ... ...

ok so i'm busy, cant update more, next time.

ch

越劇之感想…

2006-05-05T23:17:00.000+08:00

兩年前，當我上高一時，曾經做過一次的大戲的研究，分成小組，我的組選擇做粵劇的研究。那時做起來簡直是一團糟！現在，我真參與文工團的越劇表演，突然覺得，其實大戲沒什麽難！

當時，我們研究的可是伴奏的部分，其實，很多時候，連主旋律都聼不清楚，結果伴奏也覺得是沒有半點規律。現在覺得，原因其實很簡單：

一、唱的人，其實唱得不准。他們學習時，有很多時候並不是看譜的，而是照vcd，所以，儘管樂隊再盡情的奏下去，主胡也很難跟住唱者。不管是音準、拍子都不准，要把旋律記下來，除非有樂隊的譜，不然根本做不來！
二、無限重復。所謂無限重復就是在音樂裏，當有清唱，或是動作時，樂隊就抑制重復某一段音樂，一直到動作完畢。有時，那段音樂還沒奏完，就得跳去下一段，可能會聼起來怪怪的。（其實，一點也不怪。只是聼不慣罷了。）
三、拍子一直換！2/4，3/4，4/4，1/8 等等，對於我們這些受正統西樂教育的學生，聼起來更是怪了！有時，不止拍子一直換，連速度也不定！
四、打擊樂的各個效果沒跟好動作，或是忘了一些，音樂就不象樣了！（好像某某人一直沒有打對他的鑼鼓... 要不得要不得！）

其實，當中的邏輯是存在的。我也解釋不了，但如果你去參與演出的話，你就明白了！哈哈，有誰想去看呢？這次的演出是為“愛心糧食”籌款，有興趣者，清在星期六告訴我！

wheez

2006-04-24T08:47:00.000+08:00

AFter not cycling for like one week, im super shag after cycling up that hill... but i saw an improvement yay i could cycle up the whole hill already, but then *pants* can die lorh. haha but nvm at least im keeping fit. its another 3 weeks before i can cycle to camp again haha...

oh yar. my name is synthe. its pronounced syn-ti. heh. just because i play the synthesizer and MAJ tay just keep calling "synthe 这边奏下去, synthe 这边不要弹.." and so on and so forth so i hereby conclude that he remembers my namd as synthe. haha i now prefer "See" like what my PC and all those peopel in Leopard calls me. heh. although yar he still calls me "See" once in a while but most of the time is "synthe 这边你给我一点bom bom bom bom bom bom bom bom" hahaha

Opera. bleahx. cant wait for it to be over man. it seriously reminds me of the opera project that was done 2 years ago haha 'fond' memories eh.

yay am going to get new 二胡s soon. see the s. haha 2 more. whoa just for the gr 9 exam im going to be bringing 3 二胡s into the exam room mann... and i found out whoa luckily i got piano background then all those finger exercises (like wEIrd fingering like 13243124, 14243241) comes easier. yay thank you czerny. bleahx. and i better start practising my piano cos received letter from Trinity to audition for their high scorers concert (and i received 2 letters cos i took 2 diploma exams last year -- LTCL Acc (dist!!!) and FTCL) but in any case still must go ask for permission to take part. cos i NSF mah. cannot anyhow do things one. but i would like to go for the audition and see how if i can get into the concert itself. i suppose there will be talent spotters there. anyway its in august and audition's in june i suppose thats enough time to learn up a new piece? but truthfully i dunno what kind of pieces i can play lor they ask me to choose from exam repertoire BUT FTCL where got repertoire? haha... nvm 1: ask for permission 2: tell my teacher 3: call up trinity to ask what do i play hehheh...

ok. enough for now. am going to arrange da chang jin later yay haha

ch

am needing my creative juices right about...

2006-04-11T21:33:00.000+08:00

...-now-

Haha.. to squeeze something out of my already retarded brain is going to be challenging... and its not just something. its some-thing-. (okay that doesnt mean anything but i meant it to be something unusual..)

and my horoscope actually told me to 'channel your philosophical inspirations into some creative writing'. hmm what philosophical inspiration?

yay good friday coming soon =))

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was back in school today, and also on msn, see so many J2s putting up their CT scores... eh people what have u been doing in school? haiyoh. but dunno leh, the people with good grades never dare to say/put up their grades, and the not very good ones will always 'boast' that they have 3 Es, or 4 Fs, or wad OBOE or COFFEE or COCO all that crap larh... aiyoh people, bad grades so? are u trying to show off ur bad grades to gain people's acceptance, like getting good grades is a sin? i think i have posted about this last year before, and true, it seems u get more acceptance when u have less than wonderful grades... which i think is a flaw in the environment. wierd right? does this encourage people to do worse?

sometimes i do wonder if i wasnt in a mugger class like mine, how would i have performed? better, only to get sconed at, or worse, to be 'accepted'? or if my grades were worse, would my class have laughed or kicked me aside? or if my grades were better, what would my classmates think?

okay, im not in school anymore. but then out here in army, i see RJ or VJ or those top 5 jc people, when people ask what school they from, they say, then they add 'aiyar i stupid one larh'. it seems like a standard answer. i do not shy away from the fact that i do that sometimes too, only i nv say i stupid one, i say i go rj only for music. which in a way is true. or else who in the right mind would spend 3 hours on the road each day just to go to school haha... if HC had music i wld probably have gone there. oh wells. the stereotyping and all that s--- that comes being above average... it is unsettling sometimes to be like this...

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to my senior who commented on my last blog...

yar i agree wif u. as a musician, yes i agree. but note, as a musician. true, singapore in gearing towards an arts society. and i agree that this is one way u keep ur talents in.. what rings in my mind is also the melvyn tan case, so yarh, why not just keep mdc here so that some people (esp the non combat fit ones) can look forward to army?

but at the back of my mind, im still skeptical. funny, how i really didnt want to be doing combat stuff, yet trying to push away my lifeline ah?

by the way, senior, who are you?

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ch

654

2006-04-06T22:45:00.000+08:00

takes a genius to guess what that number means haha...

vetting was, well, fun. i realise that i still dun go well wif technology, what wif sequencers and keybaords that dun react, and wierd configurations YUCKS. give me a month and i shall like them. i hope. haha. or else i'll die mann...

but come to think of it, it was during the vetting day that i realised that MDC exists, actually, without much reason, as in reason in an army. fine, it does save money for SAF, by using MDC instead of private musicians for their functions, and also may earn money for SAF... But apart from that, it actually is there for slackers like me who dun want regimental training.. and with our friends carrying rifles and marching in the sun, there exists me who complains the keyboard is heavy (it actually is okay..) while taking an air con bus, not even a tonner. it does seem unfair to the rest of the guys out there. granted, we're non-combat fit, or most of us arent. but what about the clerks who stay in tekong? for the improvement of our skills as musicians? performers? what about "fight for our land", "children having fun while we are holding guns"? im really pondering about why and what MDC exists for... although yes its a privilege to be there, not to be under the sun. but. still...

haha seems like i like to criticise things that are good to me.. wierd ah? this only represents the views of me so yar... dun ask the rest of the mdc people what they think...

ok 654 is the no. of days to ORD. haha. sad ah. to be counting down from now...

Yay

2006-04-03T23:15:00.000+08:00

Yay.. have 3 shows (okay one of them is a vetting) this week so means i cannot wash my formal uniform (ie white, black, bowtie and coat) for the whole week cos of shows and rehearsals bleahx i dun understand the reason for making us wear that stupid coat and uniform for rehearsals its not like we need to get used to playing in a blazer cos hello we are not amatuers here we all played in blazers before and then the studio doesnt need to bother with lighting at all so what was all that reason about lighting people need to see your uniform so they can pick a better lighting for the actual vetting day when the lights just consist of on and off so it is simply -stupid- to wear the white shirt and black pants and all that tomorrow for the whole day in camp when ive worn it the whole day today because of show (making me only get back home at 10.30pm) and sweating in it now i have to stink for the vetting on wednesday and also the show for some IO Dinner on friday night ergh and im not getting any off days this week this is SO tiring hahaha but at least we get to keep our off days and use it to pay back the 2 and a half days of off we took when we first stepped into MDC for the chalet which i ended up not going and ended up going out to play hahaha and yay good news MAJ Tay said that if i want to do accompaniment i will just apply for it case by case basis as long as it doesnt clash with anything major (no pun intended) in the schedule i should be given time off to do accompaniment and MAJ Tay will not be caring so much about when i do it but i think i forgot to ask him what if my accompaniment is during office hours do i get off to do it so i guess i'll just open myself up for accompaniments again and then if people ask for office hours i'll have to ask MAJ Tay again (go right to the top so theres no question about decisions) only thing is that be prepared for a little less than usual practice time with me and also the possibility of me saying no i cant do that accompaniment cos this time i am employed by SAF which means that i cannot do outside jobs actually and so also at the same time SHHHHH dun tell anyone im t******g hahaha okay can tell just +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ okay im super tired and this is a super long sentence i think im going mad because i had a super long day and i played violin and viola just now haha cos someone took over my keyboard and guess what my keyboard is so so so so so so heavy and we had to carry it ourselves from mdc up the bus which is so hard to load the stuff ergh and still got the sequencers and amps and stands and scores and instruments gosh my muscles are aching and this is going to happen for every single show that we do argh i should go get an excuse heavy load status or something like that MUAHAHAHA so people carry me and i dun need to carry anyone YAY but it was super fun jamming during the show just now playing just ------- SHHH dun tell the #### people or they will just ^^^^^^^ %%% if they knew we were playing ------- cos we are supposed to be @@@ by i suppose since they clapped they did like us and my ????? solo haha so fun to lead the string ensemble when playing ///// ////// yay experience ya and this totally rocks and so i shall end this long sentence soon and go to sleep.

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This Post was originally posted on 030406 at 2315 hrs but was edited 040406 at 2156 hrs to substitute words for symbols so that some people will not slaughter me when they read this and i will not be caught meahahaha..

Yar and who said MDC was slack?

2006-03-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

Okay, being posted there during a busy season is totally yucky. Whoa, and being involved in 2 (yes 2) groups is worse. Wahahaha. Yar, and i have 4 weeks where my weekends are totally burnt, and with night shows, and late bookouts, and blah. Ok fine, rant on. Haha. i wouldnt give this up for a 8-5 clerk (unless its clerk at MDC haha). Where else will u get shuttle bus rides to your unit from the gate, saving on the 20 min walk? Haha.

ch

SE? CIE?

2006-03-23T20:23:00.000+08:00

SE: String Ensemble
CIE: Chinese Instrumental Ensemble

Officially, I'm in SE, playing keyboard (!). Then again, was told that i will have to play for CIE (erhu) if necessary. Then today, was playing keyboard for CIE too.

Multi roles!

Anyway, today is actually the 4th day of posting. BUT. here's how my previous days went.

Monday: Reached before 8am, but clerks only came at 9.15am haha. Booked out at 1pm and went for chalet, supposedly Orientation. Haha

Tuesday: OIL, or Off In Lieu.
Wednesday: OIL.

Which means today is officially my 2nd day at MDC, having spent the past two days going out because the seniors from SE and CIE were at chalet, and we newcomers chose not to join them.

ANd tmr, i'm going to book in/out in civvies! Yay!

And MAJ Tay said: This is a privilege, not an entitlement.

Hmm, 2 years of this. HahaHAHAHA.

Updates.

2006-03-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Since i've been given the go ahead to update, i shall. Haha. Though im still lazy, this will not be long.

My BMTC E-posting order reads:
You are posted to SAF MDC
Your vocation is ARTISTE

Yay happy! ANd i heard i'm playing keyboard, so yay? anyways 8-5 everyday, no stay in, though probably PTE for 2 years. And my mistake, REC to PTE no pay rise. boohoo. I'm so going to get a part time job mann...

Yar reporting in about 9.5 hrs to Nee Soon CAmp. haha so near home.

-----

I'm at a total LOSS! to unis and scholarships and blah. urgh. someone please just tell me what to do. (then at least if anything goes wrong i can blame someone else). No thats not the reason. BUT. im still at a total loss. where to go, what to do, urgh can no one even start by telling me to do this, so that i will agree?

If only it were as simple as choosing JC.

Maybe i'll just stay in singapore ah?

bleahx. ok im ranting. just take it as a reluctant and spoiled kid who doesnt want to use his own brain to think.

(is that the only reason?)

ch

I deserve to be SHOT.

2006-03-17T15:21:00.000+08:00

I am lateeee. AGAIN. So. I say: "Have mercy, wendy."

But then.

She 'accidentally' pulled the trigger.

And I am DEAD.

-this blog will cease to be updated-
-i cease to exist-

byebye

Pass out

2006-03-09T08:00:00.000+08:00

Its been two weeks since my last post. A lot of things has happened since then but yet i didnt blog, partly because im busy and partly because the picture on the previous post looked the nicest. Haha

Well, got back my A's results. Dunno why when i looked at my results this time, i felt nothing, only stone. well the results werent bad, it wasnt fantastic either, being just one of the 600 plus people in RJ, or the 76.2%. But my results certainly mean that i can go and do almost whatever i want, lest for an ugly grade right at the bottom but well its good enough. i'm just damn thankful that the physics grade was up there. perhaps Sze was right. haha. up down up down grades got pattern one, so it just went up for A's. oh yeah.

and then i passed out of BMT le. but lets take a look at how my bmt went. this is what i did/achieved in Tekong:
1 times 2 days of light duty
2 times 3 days of light duty
1 times 8 days of att C
3 weeks of training
3.5 weeks of doing 'service and support'
passed swimming cat
didnt even complete 1 full IPPT
passed range 22/32 (with 100% day shoot. u know how bad my eyesight is at night.)
missed field camp
3 km route march
1 day of working in the office as trainee clerk (or rather free labour)
2 times guard duty on weekdays, one as ammo guard, one as camp guard
OC parade
1 OTOT canteen break (yay)
played for Leopard's night
played in front of all the OCs and the CO for Recruit's night staff dinner
got sent to hospital at 1.30am in the morning
bathed at 4.30am in the morning
kena tao-poked 3 times
booked out thousands of times
more or less failed BMT.

Haha. oh wells. now is a block leave period. yay. shall get my posting next friday, then will report to the new unit either the following monday or tuesday. please let it be in mainland singapore. anywhere but tekong. best is MDC ya?

oh by the way i am a private now. no more a blur recruit. Haha. pay rise!!! wohoo!!!

ok go back to sleep...

a happy boy

2006-02-24T13:55:00.000+08:00

Then again, if u really go and read those comments, i find it amusing that:

1) This was a performance full of technical competence. And i recall that my right hand hurt like hell when i was playing.

2) The full resources of the piano were used to provide a wide range of tone colour in this dramatic and well played performance. And the piano is actually so small and muffled that i wonder how i could have a wide range of tone colour. Haha.

3) The examiner actually wrote as though this is a concert review.

But then again. LALALA. who cares.

12 more days to..

2006-02-23T20:14:00.000+08:00

POC!!!

whoa.

*cross my fingers, pray super duper hard, hope very very hard* that i dun need to make up for my training.

14 days to POC!!!

2006-02-21T22:05:00.000+08:00

POC: Passing Out Ceremony. And what am i doing at home? My coy's going for field camp tmr, and i think they're grabbing the field equipment from my cupboard to make up what they dun have.. haha...

I'm hoping my OC is kind, and say since i Pes C anyway, no point learning how to shoot and go field and all that, then i dun need to take my live range and field camp again. hope lor. actually anything but recourse.

actually. aiyar i just want back my health. bleahx. bronchitis. siao.

ch

Attend C

2006-02-20T15:25:00.000+08:00

I'm home again, the funny thing is that i reached home less than 12 hrs after i left home on saturday afternoon... went back to camp, was looking very very pale, got sent to the MO at 0004, who sent me to Changi General Hospital at 0130. got diagnosed wif acute bronchitis, ear infection and slight lung infection. got mc until this friday. bleahx.

so i missed all my live range.

so i will miss my field camp.

so i will miss my grenade test.

ah. how wonderful. seems im going to miss IPPT too... heh.

nvm. health more impt.

ch

Fever...

2006-02-17T21:35:00.000+08:00

Eeks... GOt MC so i'm only returning to tekong tmr evening... This means i'm going to miss one whole day of live range, ie all those tests for tmr. Ouch. which means i probably have to come back for corrective training if i dun pass 2 out of 3 tests for bmt, after i pass out.

3 weeks left. or rather 2 and a half. inclusive of field camp, range, ippt, grenade throw. wahaha. if my temperature still doesnt go down how can i go for field camp?

pray hard...

Book out

2006-02-15T22:06:00.000+08:00

Haha. 3 day bookout before a long 10 day week including field camp. which explains why im at home right now, coughing away, having a pain in my ear, looking at my status tag. for some reason the MO gave me att B from today to friday, so it all burns out during my book out. haha.

Saturday and Sunday is live range!!! i have to pray hard that i can really pass my night shooting with not so bright targets in the real range. the IMT (arcade larh) targets are super bright, i can score quite well. Haha. but now the real one. heh.

2 out of 3 to pass BMT: field camp, shooting and IPPT. i suppose, i will have to count on the former two instead of IPPT. which i missed today's trial cos of my illness.

ok need sleep...

ch

3 weeks and 2 days

2006-02-12T09:57:00.000+08:00

left.

ive finally succumbed to the cough and sore throat, but. due to superior choir training i have still managed to lead songs. and sing louder than most people. in tune.

WHAT CRAP. apparently cookhouse and all those screaming and shouting led to my throat.

counting down every morning, now its currently 23 days until i pass out, and i cant wait for it. get out of tekong. and away from those grasshoppers, mosquitos, red ants, rifles, food, PT, blah blah blah...

Purple Light
In the Valley
THat is where
I want to be
Infantry
best companion
with my rifle and my buddy and me

IPPT
si bei jia lat
SOC
we never take
everyday
cancel PT
with my rifle and my buddy and me

Hahaha. havent had a proper 5 B-ex since dunno how long ago. im going to fail my IPPT trail 2 again this wednesday. ANd ive been struggling to pass my IMT, partly because the target is small and 100m away, prone position is really tiring, unsupported positions are really really tiring, and its dark. ie cant see the target.

8 more ferry rides. cant wait for the next book out.

then again, i dun really want to come back for the next bookout.

oh wells.

maybe i'll go see MO tmr and get Att B for my flu. or Att C if my fever decides to go up. yay. more time at home. since i dun need to really pass my modified BMT anyway.

ANd again,

2006-02-02T00:01:00.000+08:00

I'm going back to tekong tmr, only to come out (hopefully) on Saturday again. In the meantime, going to leave this here again:

http://www.geocities.com/seecheehang/scores_catalog.xls

thats my scores catalog. its incomplete, includes only all my accompaniment scores and my original scores.

other loose scores include:

Assorted Solo Piano Works (Dover edition) by
JS Bach
Beethoven
Brahms
Chopin
Debussy
Grieg
Mendelssohn
Mozart
Schubert
Tchaikovsky

And also:
complete chopin waltzes and nocturnes, schirmer
complete Liszt Hungarian Rhapsodies
complete Messiaen Regards
complete Ligeti Etudes book 1
complete Bach chorales
complete Faure Barcarolles and Impromptus
complete Debussy Images
and plenty of choir scores.
Feel free to browse and select.

Procedure to borrow scores:
EitherCall my home/my mum's HP and introduce urself as Chee Hang's Friend, needing to borrow scores.

Orif u dunno any of the above numbers, msg me, and i'll give u further instructions.

Just dun come and make a nuisance of urself. i have 2 shelfs full of scores, (though not very neatly arranged) and 1 whole cd rack of cds, if u need them. not that i have a lot of cds.

til then, tata.

New Year!!!

2006-01-31T21:16:00.000+08:00

Gosh! I'm getting so so so fat!!!

New Year goodies, all the food, and stuffing myself till im so fat! i already gained 3 kg during NS! i mean, who goes in there and gains 3 kg? the wonders of being Pes C. only my OC doesnt care if i'm L1, L2, L3 or L9, of which im L9. which actually means, no firing, no field camp. BUT OC doesnt care lor!

and who hurts their leg during 2.4 run bleahx had a good timing leh just below 8 min and into half of the 4th round, i pia a bit could finish in 12.20, but then... bleahx. att B for 2 days, and my PDS doesnt let me go and do my U/L activites, which means i didnt train in the gym, and now im going to fail pull ups too gosh

bleahx... so full

ch

新年快樂！

2006-01-29T22:01:00.000+08:00

首先，跟大家拜個年。在這個狗年裏，祝大家心想事成，步步高升，過個汪汪年！

哦，我昨天十九嵗了！！！昨天早上，剛從兵營回來，就突然閒，有人跟我慶祝生日了，好高興，好高興！！！=) 只在兵營待了8天，我已經受不了了，會想起那幾天的壓力，壓得我幾乎崩潰，我也真沒用啊。但，挨過了一個星期，有得回來，一回來就有驚喜，挨過去也是值得的。

兵營的事我也不講了，有好有坏，總的來說，我很難適應，但很希望接下來6個星期可以跟快過去，這樣我也會跟開心。

其實也有好笑的時候，但也有吃力的時刻，我恨不得馬上可以downgrade，但沒辦法，也得挨下去。

還好，有你在身旁...

志航

2 days...

2006-01-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

This will be my last post for the next 1 and a half weeks. not going to post anymore tmr, cos i'll be bz, and friday of course not.

2 days. who wants souveniors from tekong? considering i wont bring much money there, i can bring back some soil for everyone.

2 days. it is finally hitting me right smack in the face. have been enjoying myself too much these past few weeks that i havent done any preparation for NS. no psyco-ing, no meditation, no training up, no nothing. have been indulging in what would be considered 得意忘形, which is no good. but still, i would have rather spent the past few weeks as i had spent them... =))

as such, i am not mentally prepared for what i'll face, and for what i will be letting go come 12.45 on friday, or even earlier, as soon as i step on that ferry away from the island of singapore.

(perhaps i am the weaker one...)

(no, i'll just lift my head up and go. dont laugh.)

my phone number will not change. can msg me, no one's stopping you. but dun expect a quick reply or anything. oh i have free incoming, call me if its urgent, that is, if its at night, between dunno what time and 1030pm. (but i'll probably be on the phone already.)

-----

http://www.geocities.com/seecheehang/scores_catalog.xls

thats my scores catalog. its incomplete, includes only all my accompaniment scores and my original scores. other loose scores include:

Assorted Solo Piano Works (Dover edition) by
JS Bach
Beethoven
Brahms
Chopin
Debussy
Grieg
Mendelssohn
Mozart
Schubert
Tchaikovsky

And also:
complete chopin waltzes and nocturnes, schirmer
complete Liszt Hungarian Rhapsodies
complete Messiaen Regards
complete Ligeti Etudes book 1
complete Bach chorales
complete Faure Barcarolles and Impromptus
complete Debussy Images

and plenty of choir scores.

Feel free to browse and select.

Procedure to borrow scores:
Either
Call my home/my mum's HP and introduce urself as Chee Hang's Friend, needing to borrow scores.

Or
if u dunno any of the above numbers, msg me, and i'll give u further instructions.

Just dun come and make a nuisance of urself. i have 2 shelfs full of scores, (though not very neatly arranged) and 1 whole cd rack of cds, if u need them. not that i have a lot of cds.

-----

seriously, i dun wanna go...

will miss a lot of things, even though i'll be out by CNY. (and also...)

-----

i'm making it sound real bad am i not. haha. though i cant really laugh out right now. hmm...

shall be counting down to booking out, and to... ...

ch

(see u in 13 days)

counting down...

2006-01-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

3 days.

fretting?

4 days

2006-01-16T14:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, amazingly, it is 4 days before many of the guys in tekong book out at the end of confinement, and it will be my turn to go in =) now what did i put that smiley there for? haha not that im so looking forward to tekong, but i guess it wont be that bad, listening to what others have been saying and blah blah blah...

amazingly, i have been going out so often these days, that i havent gone to do any working out to get back in shape before NS, not that i really care though... Its been wonderful, going out, and i wouldnt want to spend time otherwise =)

am going to put up my catalog of scores i have soon, sometime before friday. since i m not going to use it that much, im opening it up for people to borrow. ive got some original scores, and a lot of loose scores, just dont report me to the copyright holders.

Also, dont contact me if u want my scores. call my home, identify urself to my mum or whoever that picks up. leave ur name behind when u get the score, and return it as soon as ure done with it and also in the original condition that u borrowed it... i dont want my scores to go missing or spoilt.

Shall still be blogging until thursday night, or even friday morning.

=)

count down is left with

2006-01-16T00:09:00.000+08:00

5 days

14th Jan

2006-01-14T20:54:00.000+08:00

I was so happy to receive a letter from trinity, thinking that my FTCL results had arrived...

Only to find out that the letter only informed me to go pick up my LTCL (acc) cert...

And i can't go on a sunday, means not tmr, means i have to waste $100000000000 just to go down to orchard and get it...

-----

Tiring day today, had a busy morning, really busy, not having any time to sit down at all..then still went out haha wierd day...

but in a brief moment of rest i did up the first page =)

-----

6 days... am scared of who/what kind of people i'll meet there. since im not going in wif almost all of the guys i know, that means i'll be in there wif, hmmm, not so expected people?

suddenly i wished i was pes A/B

but then again, thinking back, i wish i were pes E...

Pes C is such a wierd place. esp L9s. i'm not combat fit, so train me in bmt for.. what? to run away? haha...

-----

and 18 going on 19 yrs old is such a wierd time to be, for guys like me, where i am

ch

Friday the 13th!

2006-01-13T21:56:00.000+08:00

Bad luck day?

Exactly one week.

time's not exact. if its 1245, its exact.

how many days?

2006-01-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

and then it was...

2006-01-11T21:10:00.000+08:00

nine days...

u learn soemthing new everyday...

-----

ok wasn't planning on blogging much, but then am now waiting for my photos to upload to shutterfly.. so might as well...

-----

'How was it?'

and how would you answer a question like that? time after time, after exams, after interviews, after whatever, people ask the question 'How was it?'... i admit, i ask that a lot too, but then dunno why, suddenly just now it hit me hard that hmm its not an easy question to answer, and i dun really like that question either. heh.

so how was it?

what is an answer required? when people ask me this question, like after an exam, half the time i would come up wif a lame one-liner to get it past. like when im asked 'how did u find the paper?' then id answer 'i found it in the exam hall'. and so on. those who asked me before would know.

cos its like, if i answered, 'it went well', half the people would say things like 'hao lian larh!', or envy, or well just not responses that i would expect... if i answered, 'not too well', half the people will say, 'aiyar say say only' and the likes... so in short, bad replys... and the connotations for answering, the consequences, if u said it went well then maybe u will need to do well and stuff like that

hmm... so much suddenly came to mind... got more but lazy to type one...

-----

9 more days and im going over-straits. to tekong. and people are counting 9 more days to end of confinement. haha how funny...

-----

went back for cca feste today, saw a lot of things... hmmm...

am missing school... and PE...

not physical ed, but piano ensem

-----

want to go for a workout, but always finding excuses like rain, tired, work (as if i got any) blah blah

-----

not really looking forward to next week...

ch

oh yar, my addresses for the photos...

http://seech.shutterfly.com

should be up in a while.

ch

ten

2006-01-10T21:23:00.000+08:00

10...

am i excited? scared? envious? happy? sad? hopeful? hopeless?

eleven

2006-01-09T21:32:00.000+08:00

eleven days...

十一天...

and notes, meaningful little slips of paper, is where my words have gone...

ch

New Year

2006-01-06T23:28:00.000+08:00

resolutions? havent made any, didnt bother year after year cos i probably wont follow them.

but this year, exception =)

-- be less undecided. be more true to myself.

ch

Start of school? Or rather the lack of school...

2006-01-04T22:45:00.000+08:00

If not for the fact that it was a very hot day, and that I no longer have student concession, the zoo would have been a perfect place to go to on a non-holiday day. But then again, it was still wonderful, if u keep your mind off the fact that I left home with $13 in my ez-link card and reached home with $8.91. Haha.

So now, no more student concession. Have to be careful when going out. Only go for important stuff. Ah how I miss the two beeps when I board the bus. Now its only one.

Oh and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! Yes this is rather late, considering I didn’t blog the previous days. Have been going jogging to get back my stamina and my exercise, but then I am so lazy, and I am so lousy, so it turned out not that useful. Haha. Have got 2 more weeks though, please don’t kill me guys who go in on Thursday or Friday or Saturday.

It does feel different when u go out on the first day of school, then u see everyone everywhere wearing uniform, and u are sauntering around in casual clothes, having had fun the whole day. Part of me wants to laugh at them (a wierd and sick sense of satisfaction i guess..), part of me reminds me that means that I’m very old, having gone past the 12 years of Singapore schooling, which is quite an experience.

And I am starting to fill up my schedule again… Some things are like not that I have a choice, so bleahx. And to think I turned down jobs just to do all these? Haha… people will kill me if they know…

Old Macdonalds had a farm
Ee-i-ee-i-oh!
And on his farm he had some ______
Ee-i-ee-i-oh!

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha

I do miss school… and I miss working, cos that means I get income. Whereas now I’m just spending money haha… To those who are still going to school, don’t complain. Look back one year later and you will know why…

Oh and I still have notes ─ physics and music. J2s!!! before the syllabuses change!!!

Am very happy =)) But also at the same time upset that I’m going off soon, and if only time can stop. But, shall treasure whatever time is left, and spend it meaningfully =))

ch

new year. warning: super long post.

2005-12-31T12:24:00.000+08:00

came back from the chalet thursday, feeling tired but satisfied… Its almost the end of 2005, with just 1 day to the new year. Time to do something I do every year, which is to look back at this year. Dunno why I keep doing it, but wells, I just want to. Haha. Talk more about these few days at the end…

2005!!!

Jan was quite interesting. People were all trying to settle into the new school, with the school suddenly how many times bigger. Had a fund raising concert for the tsunami victims, a super rushed concert, done in 2 weeks, but still a good one, and meaningful.

Ah ha. The 2nd year for piano ensemble, and we had auditions, wonderful that we attracted like 50++ people to come and audit, and accepted 30plus, although a lot dropped out after that, which was not my concern… Have to say that I am pleased the way things were going for PE, with funding and the likes all coming in.

Hehheh. My birthday. Got a monkey lalala.

Haha, March concert with vocale. And the grad ceremony!!! With the RJ people all getting awards, whoa… glad that I was there, when will I go again?

But the stupid common tests. Hehheh. I shocked quite a few people when my physics dropped 4 grades, have to say I was rather surprised myself. This was the time I was still deliberating whether to drop physics and go on with 3 subs, and miraculously I didn’t, and maybe I should be thankful. Not that physics got easier, nor would it actually help me from now on, nor did I enjoy it more. But I got through it, and maybe I should be glad I didn’t drop it…

The J1 MEP concert, was the first time in how long that I did AV again, and with a more high tech system than what I worked with (ie 4 stage lights with no colour and just on/off buttons haha).

30th: the first PE concert held by the J1s, solely by themselves. (I cant find the videotape now, dunno where I left it. Scream!) I’m glad that there are at least talented committed people.

May saw the first ever PE public concert. The stress and all those work pressure building up to that day, for those who met me that night could have seen how relieved and glad I was once it was over. Was rather touched by the effort the newly elected J1 comm put in for this concert as well (though sometimes I do wonder how many people is their comm made up off…) and the members! Wonderful members we had, who colour coded their costumes (recall the 2 red shirts), learnt a super hard piece in 2 weeks, and just for being our members. Even though sometimes had to scream (or maybe just nag fiercely) for things to get done, and things were NEVER done on time, yar was glad for them…

Oh I failed napfa too. Haha.

I remember doing compo at weird hours in the morning, and like finishing my 3rd compo at 6 am just for a compo workshop at 3 pm. The mad rushes, but it actually turned out to be my best compo. Hmm…

Jazz concert, another AV experience, where I finally merged with the LT 2 system hahaha. Wonderful lightings that night, and a wonderful jazz club as well. Well done!

Hmm my LTCL accompaniment and the chamber concert happened on the same day… LT first. Got my distinction, practicing everyday really helps!!! Then the rush back to school to do AV again haha wonderful! But what I remembered was that the week it all happened, it was wonderfully stressful, and I was almost falling sick. It was like Jazz concert on a Tuesday night, GP common test the next afternoon, and LTCL and chamber concert the day after. Haha. Wonderful things I do to myself.

June saw the first ever collaboration of our PE with VJPE. What a competition. And taking part in it as well wa haha first time playing 8 hands it was actually quite disastrous, and the only way we masked it was because it didn’t sound that nice either. And organizing the comp whoa am just glad it is over. Really hope to see it again next year…

But the June common tests were wonderful. I got my 4 As!!! Er wrong time actually, cos after that I dropped, but who cares. (Actually, I don’t really care about my grades, if u didn’t know that already. Sure, I’d like them to be good, would be disappointed if I failed, but hey its nothing much.) But the amount of hype and the stupid comments made by others just because I scored such a grade, made me wish that I hadn’t done well. I suppose this is something that happens only to people who are so concerned with their grades. Hey I would have gladly given them the grades if it could make them happy. I’d be happier too! I never got a chance to enjoy my 4 A’s, but heck. Its over.

July… the 2 accompaniments that I did. I’d remember the first one as a super challenging one, with the exam more like a piano exam than a clarinet exam. I’d remember the 2nd one (which was 2 days apart) as a complete waste of time, underpaid, and mistreated, what with having to tolerate some people. Ergh.

August was fun!!! Singing with vocale and EBC was wonderful, although it was somewhat heartbreaking to see how things went for the whole concert altogether, what with lack of good planning and such… so many things have changed since I had left chs, and dunno whether that’s good or bad…

And arranging a song in 3hrs, practicing it and performing it in 1 week was just a superbly self-satisfactory experience. IE the audience obviously weren’t listening. Haha.

And the compo concert!!! As Audrey was saying, many people had my name as their performer. Haha. Like performing 4 works that night (including mine) on the piano, IN the piano, and erhu. Haha. And having people change their score on that day itself, hmm it’s a wonderful experience. At least I proved I could do it hahaha.

September was largely taken up by prelims which was… Nvm better not say anything. But since September onwards it was a mad rush rush rush rush rush and mug mug mug mug mug for the A levels, and I’m the mad one who has the following schedule:

22nd Nov End of A’s
25th Nov FTCL
28th Nov Erhu exam
9th Dec Erhu exam
10th Dec competition

Hahaha. I seriously overwork myself… but then again I always do that. But then about the A’s, full of highs and lows. I would say, one super low point was before and after the physics paper 1&2 (that makes it 2 low points.) expectedly, since my physics was nothing to be confident about, but I still got through it, barely. Another low point, would say it’s the lowest, wasn’t a written paper. It was actually my most confident paper, the music prac. Till now I still dunno how I managed to feel so stressed about it, having a nervous breakdown in front of everyone right before I went in. The things that floated into my head while I was sobbing, I cant remember who said what. But I did hear people saying that this wasn’t my first exam, I had been through worse like LRs, and LTs, what’s an A level prac to me? But my teacher was wonderful, she took me down for a chat, told me these things happen even to the most professional of players. I went in red-eyed, teary, but still managed to play. I was totally lost in the music, dunno how my Beethoven sounded at all (probably didn’t screw up the semiquaver runs as bad as prelims.) I remember wanting to cry through chopin. And I totally exhausted myself through khachaturian. But then its over, and for the afternoon erhu one it wasn’t that bad either. I would say I survived.

And oh, the high points? The maths papers. Definitely. Even though not all went that smoothly, but hheyz its maths. Bound to make a different.

The most tiring day wld be the last day, where I woke at 2.30 haha to mug music, and then had music followed by maths S, which was frustrating ─ if only I had 1 more minute ─ but then hheyz its over!

Then all those outside exams, cant say I breezed through them. Injured my right hand quite badly the day before the FTCL, couldn’t really practice on it. Til now, its still not okay, but im not playing piano that much now. Dunno how I survived the exam. The examiner just had to shake my right hand that hard after the exam it was a wonder I didn’t scream. Haha. Dinner was wonderful that night =)

Erhu exams, ahh im damn shocked when my teacher called and told me my results. Haha.

Competition, same results as two years back, but I am satisfied with myself this time. Haha I was impressive, but just careless. 2 more years, will I take part?

And I totally screwed my right hand after the competition, after making the khachaturian such a vigorous job. I couldn’t write properly, cant even play. Oh wells. Wonderful things I do… and I still took it too fast. But I got through it PERFECT! That’s khachaturian for you.

And then suddenly it was all over, and I was so relieved, now im happily enjoying myself, while everyone else (ok not everyone) is working, but I was saying, I go into NS 2 weeks later because I had stuff on for 2 more weeks after the As were over. Yea.

Had a wonderful Christmas, and a wonderful chalet stay with my family. Not to mention also a 4-2 class gathering, though only 7 people came… new year tmr, what will I be doing?

Have to be thankful for this year, for everyone who helped me get through it one way or another.. without friends, and other important and special people around I wouldn’t have been here, so carefree, typing this out. We all want things to last, but some things cant. Others, we pray, and we hope it does. Thank you =)

Am going out again, not for countdown though. Have to come home early today. It’s a festive season, and I find I do have reasons to cheer.

Happy New Year.

ch

year end...

2005-12-26T22:17:00.000+08:00

it's interesting, how for once after christmas, i'm not thinking about oh school starts in one week. i know most guys will kill me, but im looking at the calender and thinking, hmm NS in 4 weeks (not 2 like most pple). haha.

and how interesting, i thought i wld be free already, having pushed away most of the stuff i would have jumped into doing immediately in the past. but then, haha i still have two more formal stuff to do, jan 5th and 11th, the formal being a lesson means i still have to practise (or at least fake it), the latter has not so much stress involved, although the responsibility that is called for is still there. but hey, thats doing what im good at =)

-----

leaving for a chalet tmr, til thursday afternoon.

-----

yay 4-2 class outing on friday! haha really, thanks to kp to help organise something, and hounding the class wif sms-es at night, or rather in the wee hours of the morning (when ur 24 hr clock reads 00:-- or 01:-- haha) ok a dinner, but at least we meet again!

-----

have got this wireless keyboard and mouse installed, now i can play com from 8m away! which means i can play at the entrance of the kitchen, but only a madman will do that, cos the screen's too small to see anything.

-----

concert. as again, yearly, guest choir wif SFX YC concert. have to say, this time, vocale really went wif the least preparation. yet still managing to do decently for 3 out of 4 songs, well, i wouldnt say a very good job, but then again it is still somewhat remarkable. gabriel might probably kill me for this, but hey i see the good in everything!

and of course, i still think the first piece is the best. guess why.

no let me give a hint. haha. its accompanied. by who?

now u know. haha.

but still, right b4 the concert, during the rehearsal, some thoughts did cross my mind, confusing, stressing.. i'm still just a human, not superman.. but then, glad its over.

of course, a bit disappointed this time.. with what people actually notice. but at least im not invisible, and its not a criticism at all.. (if only it came sooner, like years sooner).. not an outright thank you nor an outright appreciation and praise either, but yar... if only other things get noticed too...

the effort, who sees? who cares? ive learnt to appreciate a group of people more now. all of u better start too.

im used to being invisible anyway so i dont care.

and as usual, the church choir's amazing. so is leong, still.

when will i sing wif vocale again? when will this batch meet again?

-----

belated merry christmas to everyone who drops by, its already 26th where i am, and its almost 27th.

what a christmas. =)

-----

at first intending to start writing some things, but then, not starting tonight. maybe this friday..

-----

ch

Yet another personality test

2005-12-24T20:40:00.000+08:00

What's Your True Color?
Chee Hang, your true color is Blue!

You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
somtimes, I do wonder how true and accurate these tests are. granted, my favourite colour is indeed blue. haha. soothing? me? i cant tell, really. i rarely overreact? well i can think of 2 or 3 instances where i did, so is that rarely?

-----

dear J1s'05 IE J2s/06. I have with me, 1 physics textbook, 2 physics tys by topic with model answer (one is mcq, one is paper 2 and 3), my own set of physics notes, and my own set of music notes for classical string quartet, and malay music. Who wants? hmm i got (according to my classmates) good results for my prelims based on these, so yar first come first served. the textbook and tys-es are NOT free, but the notes yar i can give u for free.

-----

yay so many things have passed, and i have so many things to say, but i have so little time, so hang on tight, watch this space.

ch

How interesting.

2005-12-20T20:30:00.000+08:00

Firstly. 2 days, 31 days. guess what.

-----

I've been trying to sign in to MSN for 5 minutes, wonder what's wrong.

-----

My hand is still not okay. wonder whats wrong, am supposed to rest it, instead of haha trying to play Percy Grainger. (not related to Hermione Granger).
But that piece is how cool!!! i got a recording for that piece, but that recording is smartly played by 4 hands, so im trying to play it 2 hands. mad? well, FR. heh.

3 years.

Before i embark on my uni life, if i decide to go uni, here's my plan. FRSM (hopefully hahahaha im being damn ambitious) and FTCL acc. yay.

That is, provided i dun lose my right hand during NS. yes my stupid right hand. still hurts, cant play for long. so im supposed to rest it instead of playing, so what am i doing on thursday?

and its not even the steinway. boohoo. keyboard. oh wells. hahaha.

then ive got another nail giving my left hand problems. the same one that had an ingrown nail last year feb.

conclusion: dun play piano, dun play erhu, dun write, dun do anything stupid.
but when do i listen to such advice? HAHA.

-----

Elated, because its nice to be singing again.
Elated, because its great to do mad things.
Elated, because its a wonderful year.
Elated, because no more heavy responsibilities.
Elated, because finally i could sleep.
Elated, because i managed to do what i wanted to do.
Elated, because i'm updating. haha.

-----

If i felt last year's December was fulfilling, that was because this year hadnt come yet. As of now, I feel satisfied, because of what i did. and my accomplishments. wow. i never visioned myself doing so many things and still getting the outcomes that i have. 2 more days, and i will be totally free for some time. this mad guy's schedule and accomplishments:

1) A Levels. results, to come. check this space. __________________

2) FTCL performance, 3 days after my last A lvl paper. results? hopefully good.

3) Erhu exam, 3 days after FTCL. well i know i passed, but actual results dunno yet.

4) MDC audition. which i supposedly passed, and will go back soon for another one.

5) Another erhu exam, 2 days after the MDC audition. after being scolded by my teacher. then getting YAY the highest scorer, 95%!!! full marks for scales, studies, and sight reading. HAHAHA.

6) competition, 1 day after that last exam. not exactly graet since i crashed out after quarters (ie first round), but wonderful that i got to play Khachaturian, and according to people in the audience, it was great. so yar, wonderful.

7) Managed watch the competitions, as an audience hehheh.

and other fun stuff i did, like going round and round singapore, eating veg meal (and which tasted so nice like chicken nuggets haha), stupidly putting on gel after spraying my hair, getting all the color on my hand, turning down jobs, concert upcoming, watch Harry Potter, getting hooked on Sudoku, doing vectors tutorial because my dad needs answer key, arguing on fingering of Prok's toccata, trying to learn percy grainger's cakewalk smasher, ie trying to do glissandos on my knuckles which hurt damn a lot, trying to transpose john rutter on the spot, going to terminal 1 of changi airport to look for food places when it is actually in terminal 2, using up so much sms that i dare not touch my phone now, going to army market but not buying anything, eating xiao long bao, downloading free games, actually not doing any composing, going jogging, playing pool, spending hours in the library, watching all the movies that i had recorded over the months, staying up late just to catch hong kong serials, taking buses and wasting time, getting from paragon to suntec in a rush, getting lost in fort canning at wierd hours, having the moon shine on my face at night, venezia!, eating dunno how many fish and chips in dunno how many places just in one week, and still eating fish and chips, spending money...

ahh what a wonderful life.

what more could i ask for? haha actually a lot more... like going out more, watching so many other movies argh i want i want i want...

=)

ch

another update

2005-12-17T20:34:00.000+08:00

seems that its a sin not to update hahahaha...

2 days!!!

ch

updates!

2005-12-13T22:44:00.000+08:00

ive been bugged to update, so...

UPDATE!!!

yes today is 13th of december! yay! ive been slacking!

the end. haha

ch

And so i'm back.

2005-12-10T20:16:00.001+08:00

Yes.

Yay finally everything is over. ok, except for one concert, but compared to everything else, wahahaha.

and i was saying, i'm going ns 2 weeks later than most people cos i had stuff on for 2 weeks after A's, so its fair.

and i can finally enjoy myself. ah the peace, the life. oh i just went for NPVC this afternoon, and got kicked out after the first round haha, not so surprising anyway, considering i came after huiling, weiyuan and ryan chow. who all made it by the way. but i think i surprised some people when i was like truly happy that i got kicked out. not that i was wishing so hard for it (though i did hope for freedom) but it was that i didnt mind being kicked out even though i worked for this comp, and that i finally can have a break. means, 1 month and a few more days of pure enjoyment, and also some work, before i go NS. yay.

so yar.

mm had two erhu exams already, one of which is confirmed a distinction (nus) and the other highly probable, according to my teacher who kept calling up nus and nafa. so good news yay. haha something funny about the nus exam yesterday (yes evening b4 npvc im amazing right?): the sight reading (which the examiner told me on the spot i got full marks hahaha). before he started he went like:

接下來是視奏。請你看一看譜。你要注意以下的部分：首先是節奏。例如，第二行，第一小節，是(then he proceeds to sing that bar for me)...然後，第四行，... ... 還有，這首曲子，總共包含了集种節拍，好像四份之一拍(crotchets)，八分之一拍，十六分之一拍，三十二分之一拍。(ie quavers, semiquavers and demis.) 好像第二行的第三個小節，請不要拉錯，這裡是......。好，三分鐘看譜，一分鐘考試。可以開始了。

so it was like, of course can get full marks when everything challenging place was pointed out already!!! hahahaha...

mm okay, going to bathe and go to my room and play games hahaha

feeling great that everything is over. finally.

cheehang

And so i'm back.

2005-12-10T20:16:00.000+08:00

我不行了

2005-12-03T20:53:00.000+08:00

最近那天氣也怪怪的...我也承受不住了...

想一想，多一個星期，比賽就過去了。比賽之前那天的考試也過了，剩下的也只有多一次的表演，我支撐的住嗎？

很想出去玩，但是必須有一些紀律，把自己悶在家裏，拼命練琴，哪怕是胡琴還是鋼琴。

也許我是可以出門去玩的。

也要看有什麽值得我去的地方。

現在，好好休息。

也不可以一直睡覺。

啊，胡言亂語。

志航

生活

2005-12-02T20:47:00.000+08:00

“我們活著不是爲了過去，不是爲了將來。我們生活在今朝，生活在現在。我們活招不是爲了享受今天，而是爲了創造美好的回憶。”

也許，這也是我應該作到的。

我發現，我一直活在過去，我並沒有辦法離開那美好的時光。那其實已經變陳了一段美好的回憶，我也不能強求地把它要回來。現在的我一直在掙扎，也許就是應為我不能把它看陳一種會議。

我生活在現在，生活也久違了這一分鐘，同時卻又放不下上一分鐘。這可能就是我失敗的原因吧。我是否能放下過去，勇敢地面對著今天？我是否有能力邁向明天？

昨天已經過去，明天永遠不會來。今天就是現在，但我也不能玩得不亦樂乎，一定要警力，讓每一份每一秒都值得我留念。

我不能再迷迷糊糊地走下去了。我該醒悟了。我不能再維持著現狀，我需要徵求一個更美好的今天。我必須讓我自己再次活起來。

志航，加油。

-----

哦，已經十二月了。很快地，我每一個活動就要結束了。已經不再上學，卻有點懷念學校，還有每天那一段上學放學的路程。一年來反復的動作，已經不能忘懷。雖然我不是心甘情願地上學，但也熬過了這兩年，可歌可泣。哈哈。已經不能回頭了... 也就算了。

累了，想睡覺。

志航

the 2 things i did 2 years ago 2day.

2005-11-28T22:30:00.000+08:00

1)

today (2003) was the second time i walked into RJC, and the day i submitted my form for pae. mm looking back, i wonder if i had really made the right decision. take a look at what has become of me today. haha. actually, i dunno what has become of me. why not you tell me?

i bet, people will say that i have fared well, looking at how i saunter past everyday in school. haha. funny how my friend was also thinking that perhaps he should have gone YJ too... should i have? as he said, 'go and top YJ'.. haha like real. my ego is deflated hehheh. (though my teacher says, if u have something, flaunt it). but still...

so looking back at these two years that passed by without me actually missing much of it. oh yar, i miss mt sinai. little else. but then again, what can i miss? mugging? the nights where i do not sleep? puh-lease. i'd rather have my nights.

i could go on, about the activities that happened over these two years, and then say 'yar that was fun', or 'i wouldnt want it again'. but haha i did that end of last year already...

some people think i havent changed that much over the two years, still the same cat high boy (kid), talking chinese, lazy, procrastinating, still playing the piano, still doesnt like to work out that much, more or less still a shy little boy. maybe i really havent changed at all. maybe i have. you tell me.

these two years have passed by too quickly for me to stop, to think, to ponder, to enjoy the scenery on the way. haha what scenery? the train at mt sinai, or the columbarium? (i was commenting just now that the road to chs frm bishan is so much nicer than the road to rj.) i never really took a break these two years, this year especially, 'cept for a few movie treats here and there, but then again, that's a break? what has kept me so busy, personally i do not know. maybe i kept myself busy.

come to think of it, yes, i have kept myself busy. for a boy in green shorts to mix into a community of all whites, i have tried to make myself visible to everyone (not just because of the green shorts). i have tried to make everyone know hey i'm there too, and i will not be an ousider even though im not from ri. i have just realised that i have tried too hard to make myself belong, and in the end i stick out. sorely. sheez. i probably had never been 'myself', thank goodness for the times where i went back to cat high, and more so for choir. not rj chorale. ebc and ebv.

perhaps i stick out everywhere.

so should i or should i not have come to rj?

oh wells. there are a few things and people who would have made me choose rj once again. not going to say what or who. but if not for these/them, i probably would have passed rj over. i did that once before. do it again?

(i rmb in sec 4 in my ge class, there was this guy who, once he found out that i wanted to go rj, just for mep, he just kept calling me RJ RJ or music. haha.)

(come to think of it, when in sec 4 we put up our goals/target sheet on our notice board, i realise i never met my targets before. oh my O's target was 9A1s by the way, and i didnt meet that. most people in my class met their targets, they didnt aim for impossible things. am i always trying to reach too high?)

-----

2)

i did something which i never really wanted to. but had to, because i didnt want to act anymore. no more faking. no more putting on false images. but it was a failure, cos it had to end, after some time, with such sweet memories.

perhaps it is this failure, (and another one but not two years ago) that has kept me from daring again, from reaching out, from trying.

im so scared of failure, i might as well not risk anything ever. right?

-----

A's, FTCL, the NAFA erhu exams are over. 3 more things left.

-----

cant wait for two of them to pass.

ch

Almost...

2005-11-26T22:14:00.000+08:00

almost the exact two years when i made a very seriously big decision. well maybe 2. both of which i have regrets over, and also i have some things to rejoice about. mm. 2 years. almost. come monday, it will be exactly 2 years.

has it really been that long? this 2 years (less 2 days) have flew past so quickly, that i barely had time to think. barely had time to do anything.

in a way, yes, i wish i had been somewhere else, with other people, doing other stuff.

but on the other hand, there are some things i will never trade for another. some people who had made me realise that perhaps things are not so bad after all.

so. 2 more days, to evaluate. sounds so homework-y. maybe i miss school already.

nah.
haha

if time could go back, to 28 nov 2003, would i do the same things, again?

-----

trivial. my A's and O's ended on the same day. 22nd Nov. haha.

trivial. my A's and O's both started and ended with maths papers.

-----

feeling very tired, exhausted. been using too much of my brain.

ch

FTCL is..

2005-11-25T23:05:00.000+08:00

OVER!!! lalalal i'm just overjoyed. yay hahahaha.

oh guess what. my examiner's name is called James Griffiths. haha.

oh. i think he must have been quite interested for the last few candidates. the whole morning, 2 ATCL recitals, and then all graded. the whole afternoon, all grade 2s, then the one b4 me was a mid 30s guy taking LTCL recital, then me FTCL. whoahaha. shld have seen his expression when i finished mann...

and the chair slipped on the carpet! my chopin! towards the end i could feel the chair MOVING! so i had to like hook onto the chair wif my left leg, and still try to get a full sound from an unwilling and unkind piano. and at the last chord i was just glad the chair stayed. haha. then after the silence after i let go, i was trying not to pant, then he suddenly went THANK YOU VERY MUCH in this warm voice and then he was warmly shaking my hand. oh gosh! oh by the way he shook the hand that hurt. ergh. have to see doctor before i really cripple myself and play ravel's left hand. haha.

ok tired. frm walking too much. and getting lost. in the dark. haha.

Two years.

2005-11-24T15:57:00.000+08:00

2. a special number. 2. a pair. a duo. a duet.

and like magic, 2 years of JC life is over. today was, i believe, the last time i'll step into school this year. and after like 2 years. one in mt sinai, one in bishan. 2 years.

2 years.

will time really heal everything? does time really heal everything? if so, why don't i feel it?

2 years.

so much has happened.

2 years.

so fast.

2 years.

and what will i say another 2 years from now?

2 years.

i want to go back 2 years. wait. no. make it 3 years. argh. anything. i just don't want it to be now. things are all over. sighs. over over over over over over over.

2 years.

haiz...

2 years...

2...
2..
2..

FT tmr.

2..
2..
2..
2..
2..
2..
2..
2..

And the A Levels are

2005-11-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

OVER!!!

ARGH!!! FINALLY!!! OVER OVER OVER OVER OVER!!!

ok. brief jubilation. haha. FTCL in 3 days time, about 3 days and 1 hour 15 min from Now.

Erhu Grade 7 (NAFA) in 6 days minus a few hours

HAHAHAHAHA.

I'm finally getting the hang of maths, by the looks of these 5 maths papers for A's. wonderful. peak at the right time. mm. yay.

and now im in the library (!) after the A's are over. haha.

ok, hungry.

and tired. ive been awake since 2.30!!! AM!!! haha

ch

argh

2005-11-21T18:30:00.000+08:00

1 Damnit DAY!!! 1 MORE STUPID DAY!!!

erks. pissed.

stupid fm.

ch

3 left!

2005-11-18T21:45:00.000+08:00

FM 9234/1. laughable, thats all i can say about it. u cant say that its hard, but its not easy either. its tricky, tedious, and laughable. i came out half laughing. laugh laugh laugh. argh quite pissed about the paper actually. dun tell you why.

oh no. paper 2. my mechanics is how bad now, having done all stats since dunno how long ago. worried, but then. no time to study mechanics!!! except like on monday morning, which is not good. not good not good. argh.

music!

aiyar. my time table. good in the sense that my subjects are all like continuous, ie math math gp gp phy phy phy fm fm music in that order. oh maths S ends but thats beside the point. then again, the amount of time i have between fm paper 2 and music paper 1 is like 15 hours, not enough!!! and then 1 hour between music paper 1 and maths S. bad.

ok. cheehang. dun stress.

but come to think of it, i dun want the A's to end. because right after A's, my FT. my erhu exams. the first two are like 3 day intervals away.

I WANT A BREAK!!!

someone save me... bleahx. who to blame. myself. haha.

the so many places waiting for me to go to, once i finish everything. by then it'd be next year. argh. no. i'll enjoy myself in between all my stuff. somehow. but until 28th, probably not, cept for a hopefully deserving dinner on the night of 25th after the FT, if i feel up to it. then maybe 28th i'll go out and shop? walk see walk see?

gasp. help.

-----

was listening to 92.4 yesterday when they advertised NPVC. about the prize winner's concert. the tickets. and they were giving out free tickets and stuff.

'Don't miss out this chance to listen to young virtuosos play... ... "

then i was laughing to myself. virtuosos. yes. and what am i doing, taking part?

as u can see, cheehang's confidence level is at an all time low.

-----

old emails can reveal a lot of things. when u have 1 gb inbox u just stop deleting things, and i was reading through some of the emails at the end of sec 4. interesting.

so much has changed... sighs.

-----

cheehang is not feeling well. so stop telling me i'll be fine.

-----

ch

I'm now...

2005-11-17T15:19:00.000+08:00

super bored... bleahx. am in school library, having finished Nov 04, Nov 02 and JJC Paper 1s... having said that, its said that the odd years are harder than the even years, so actually doing all these papers will NOT help me at all haha but like i care... oh by the way i'm talking about FMaths. haha.

am taking a break, later maybe go do the 01 paper. or start on some paper 2s.

wa the library. havent really looked at it nicely. hmm i can count on my fingers how many times ive been here, definitely less than 10. but reaching 10 haha. not that i have a lot of chances to do come here anymore. lalala. but its definitely huge enough to be attractive. not to say to ambience hahaha.

oh wells.

argh. 11hr and 30 min of writing to go!

mm. to RJ pple. next thursday, 24th. 9am. im having a playthru of my FT repertoire for Mrs Chee. come listen bah. good to have audience haha can either stress me out or make me better. mm. music room. oh hmm bio ends at 9.15 haha. well then bio pple can catch chopin!

listening to 92.4 lalala.

ch

Finally.

2005-11-16T21:20:00.000+08:00

It works it works it works!!! ah i feel so much better today compared to monday even though... hmm lets see what went wrong.

first: i started with fluids, and spent probably a wee bit too much time there.
Second: i forgot all my statics for kinematics, and was probably one of the jokers who did f maths and still dont do mechanics.
third: my favourite waves just waved goodbye when i couldnt figure out what that stupid experiment meant.
fourth: my 6 choose 4 was left with only 4 options so means no choice. so i looked at thermody. and then i probably got the first part wrong, but with error carry forward... hmm hopeful...
fifth: e field! my maths is still there, but then i had to not know the last parts, on the suggest and explain stuff. and after the exam then i saw that hmm alpha particle can leh.
sixth: EMI. pooi. i've got a 286V for my coil? how possible is that?
seventh: Nuclear. argh. what is isotopes? and to think i memorised all those definitions to forget how to write nicely what is an isotope.

but on the whole. yes it was bad. but. im not caring anymore. this is a guy who says its all hopeless and so i'd carry on being hopeless, letting me be a bit more hopeful. crazy. nvm. it will be a long long long long long time before i touch physics again, IF i touch physics again. bleahx.

so now.

my hardest challenge for A's. FM and music so close tog. here's my schedule for revision so people don't call me and ask me questions during times when i marked *.

tmr: Nov 03 paper 1, Nov 04 paper 2, JJC paper 2
fri: Morning is the exam paper 1. afternoon Nov 03 paper 2, HCI paper 2.
saturday sunday: music.
monday tuesday: morning mug stats like SIAO. then afternoon paper.
* sleep until 4 am (ie tuesday)
* wake up and study music
8am: Music paper 1.
*1030 to 1130: 1 hr break, try to catch some rest.
1130 to 1430: maths S. just flunk it. doesnt matter.

then its over over over... and i'll scream ARGHHHH. hha

then its sleep, for the rest of the day, then 8-hr intensive prac until 25th which is the FT!!!

so. tada. im going to do something useful now.

ch

Opposites...

2005-11-15T19:58:00.000+08:00

I'm like one of the very few crazy people who blog in the middle of A's...

Opposites!

Good, Bad.
Big Small
tall short
positive negative
rich poor
bright dull
smart dumb
expensive cheap
light heavy
yes no
many little
yin yang
boy girl
more less

blah blah blah.

just look around you, opposites all over the place! and they complement each other too! as in, without a big, how would you know something was small?

okok trivial...

-----

give up not going to touch physics again. imagine, in twelve hours the last physics paper i would probably take in my life will start. 14 and a half more hours, it'll be over, and tada no more physics in my life!

-----

50 to 95 in half an hour! then 60-90 in 15 minutes!

haha guess what.

-----

Rarely do i associate Chopin with something happy, even though some of his nocturnes are pleasant, i think of them as a kind of forlorn smile. but. this chopin scherzo, finally. i felt it! its a happy ending! chaos, confusion, hurt, pain, questions, answers. all give way to an explosive happy ending! i dun believe it!!! argh! its wonderful larh! finally, this scherzo is making sense to me. =)

-----

But technically, i'm still not there yet. maybe need more time on the piano everyday. hmm...

ch

Delusive

2005-11-14T22:34:00.000+08:00

Im hoping i got that word correct. after gp is over i cant even speak proper english, the best example is the one that went 'are you going to coming to school' lalala. and like how i pronounce infinite. is it infeenate or infynight? who cares!

and.

the things you say to others after a horrendous paper DO NOT work. bleahx. i should keep my mouth shut next time. after being in the receiving end, of almost the same things, haha it doesnt make one feel any better. not like saying anything will help when one is in the worst of moods. haha. im delusive. laughing at nothing in particular.

and all that work put into physics, and definitions. HOW MANY CAME OUT? 2! T-W-O!!! gosh. i could have shot myself. and the blasted data analysis.

oh by the way you can see for yourself how the rest of this blog is going to go. if you cant take it, you have two choices. scroll down to a part where im more sensible, marked by -----, or go elsewhere. i SHALL NOT apologise.

and so, the stupid physics paper.

agreed, the mcq paper probably was of an expected standard, with me getting stupid questions wrong and pounding myself hard during the break. and i am the stupid joker who didnt bring a ruler nor an eraser for a physics paper, had to rub with the back of my pencil, when i refused to raise my hand for an eraser. and ran to borrow an eraser in the break, to the library 5th floor and back, within what, 5 minutes? and after a coffee somemore.

paper two went quite bad. no, wait, that is an understatement. it was horrendous. like reading the question wrongly. and deciding between -2 and +2 for 10 minutes, and making all sorts of calculations, and then putting down the stupid WRONG answer! ARGH!!! joker. bleahx. i'm smart larh. and tell me, i increase mass will increase amplitude of a forced oscillation. I AM SMART!!! the genius.

argh! the stupid data analysis! BAD BAD BAD. with wad, not understanding the whole question, lest to say answer it.

and there was like almost none of the definitions and explanations and derivations that i worked out painstakingly so that i can score in them! what did they ask? Kirchoff's second law. and the properties of an ideal op-amp. then. explain wad is a g-field. shucks. i was so pissed, i went to wash my face before data analysis. not that it helped.

ARGHHHH!!! if not for the fact that in my proximity, there are like millions of people, i could have just screamed. singapore is too small. too many people. too many useless people like me. grrrr...

-----

ok. vent over. not that im feeling any better.

-----

im going to convince myself that waldstein is a happier sonata than any of the 2nd period ones. for once there are more MAJOR parts than minor in the piece, and although its like super technically challenging for someone of my standard, its actually somewhat (and i repeat, somewhat) enjoyable. and i have like no time to practise, which makes it bad.

and i still cant do octave gliss on a yamaha g-3. once i can do that, any piano is conquerable.

and the chopin! all my technical work goes to waste after one day of not touching the piano. i have to start all over again.

-----

vent. yes. this has become a place for me to vent. argh. nobody told you to look.

-----

when will it be ALL over... sighs. suddenly im wishing for NS already.

ch

(14 more hours of written papers...)

Exam.. fantasy?

2005-11-12T20:25:00.000+08:00

I wonder, how do people cope with stress during exam times? in a mugger school like RJ, few would dare to admit stress, lest being labelled as a loser. yet at the same time, few would also have the time to admit to be stress, being the muggers they all are. notice i used 'they'?

and also, it is not as though people are free to hang around to people who talks crap. haiz.

i am stressed. about A's, and the stupid 5/6 things that follow right after it. yet, i have not told anyone, but its like now i really need to vent. argh.

since primary school, some guy named See Chee Hang would have always been labelled as a success, as a first in class, as a person who has all the glory. Someone who can manage time so well, that there does not seem to be anything that can crumble him. See Chee Hang is smart, a genius, who doesnt need to study and still gets wonderful results. See Chee Hang is nice, and will do anything for you just as long as you ask him. You will probably never see a grade lesser than a B on Chee Hang's score sheets. You cannot imagine Chee Hang failing. Chee Hang is just that, perfect. Chee Hang never needs help; he provides it. If Chee Hang says he's going to fail, he probably is going to get A anyway. And if he fails, what about everyone else?

yar right.

this is what ive gathered from opinions ive gathered over the years. there is a side to me that everyone does not see, and i wonder why.

since young, i have been ill, and i survive on nearly $5 of medication DAILY just to be where i am today. i study, just that people don't see. there are times where i break down and just cry, because i feel i cannot do it anymore, but everytime, just for everyone's sake, and for not letting everyone down, i push myself to complete everything. Sometimes to the extent of falling sick again. I may grasp onto things faster than anyone does, i may learn new things with ease. But im never good at anything, just average in most. I rarely seek help, because i dont know how to, and im not sure if people will help me. I dont trust a lot, thats why i keep a lot to myself. i help others, because i dun want to be alone, and being out there is better than sitting at home. there are things that can hurt me, and i can never be shielded from those. I have been shot, and i have broken down.

perhaps, it is because i want to live up to this image in everyone's mind, that i am now very stressed, and scared. what if i fail? after being THE chee hang everyone knows for so long, what if my time is up?

Is there anyone who cares anyway? is there anyone who can help?

i am not as strong as i used to be, and i have stupidly still piled thousands of things onto myself at this critical stage. its like, what is the point of taking FTCL and the comp (when i know i'll get kicked out after the first round) and all those erhu exams when i'm clearly not like the students who practise 10-14 hours a day?

seriously, i dun want the A's to be over. it seems the easiest of things to do now.

I need to find time to study music too, not with my weekends piled with physics and FM stats and mechanics next week, and FM paper 2 is an afternoon paper, right before the music paper. How am i going to cope?

sheez.

for those who have read until here, you're wonderfully bored. go study. A's and what-nots are more important than a certain See Chee Hang.

oh yar. look at my last post. the survey.

SurveY!!!

2005-11-11T21:28:00.000+08:00

Pianists, and musicians, and everyone who has heard pieces from my FTCL programme before:

1) Waldstein is a happy sonata. True or false? Why?
2) Bach's Toccata in C minor BWV 911 has the longest fugue. (that's true.) What kind of touch should be used? Is it an organ fugue or harpsichord fugue?
3) Chopin Scherzo in B flat minor is a show piece and little else. True or false? Why?
4) How to play octave glissandi?

Hmm use the comments button to answer...

(yay A's are 2/5ths over!)

ch

Tomorrow!!!

2005-11-07T22:09:00.000+08:00

Read this sentence:
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE-SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIF-IC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS.

Now count ALOUD the F's in that sentence. Count them ONLY ONCE: do not go back and count them again.

See below...

ANSWER:There are six F's in the sentence. One of average intelligence finds three of them. If you spotted four, you're above average. If you got five, you can turn your nose at most anybody. If you caught six, you are a genius. There is no catch. Many people forget the "OF"'s. The human brain tends to see them as V's and not F's. Pretty weird, huh? It fools almost everybody.

-----

ok, that was a break from everything.

A's written papers start tmr for me. have had trouble sleeping, but hopefully it will be okay.

hopefully.

eeks.

oh yar, for those who have been sending me messages of good luck and all that, thanks. but i serioulsy dunno who you are cos i havent got all your numbers back. people who still read my blog at this time, just give me ur numbers. mm.

oh yar, my tagboard is not working. going to take it down soon.

use the comments links bah.

ch

Have you ever...

2005-11-05T20:56:00.000+08:00

... googled your own name?

i didnt know there was a Park Chee Hang in Korea! obviously someone who has power. sighs.

-----

Ouch. my hand hurts. this is BAD, considering i'm 20 days from my FT.

-cry-

ch

Difficult!

2005-11-03T20:10:00.000+08:00

After doing all those programme notes for my FT programme, i realised a few things.

The Bach Toccata has the longest fugue Bach ever wrote.

The Waldstein sonata is considered one of the hardest, if not THE hardest, piano sonata by Beethoven.

The Chopin Scherzo is the most compelling scherzo by Chopin.

See a trend? longEST, hardEST, MOST...bleahx. why am i doing so insane pieces? luckily never play Gaspard: the hardest piece ever written. haha.

and. how hard is it to memorise a fugue? no no no it is not hard at all. (im being sarcastic, in case u didnt know.) this is for the people who told me 'so what'.

this toccata. has two fugues on the same subject. IE different counter subject. they all start the same way. if im not wrong, the sequence of the entries of all the subjects are the same. ie which voice, which key. and all the subjects are the same, obviously. the end of this subject leads to this episode, but the end of that, which sounds the same, leads to another episode. the episodes are highly similar. try memorising a whole string of, say, 60 digits. there's bound to be a pattern, but its hard to remember.

so. no its not hard at all. bleahx.

went running just now, feeling super dead now.

ergh.

ch

Tired...

2005-11-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

My whole FTCL programme is >45 minutes.

today. i worked on memory. and memorised the WHOLE THING!!! IE: Bach Toccata, Waldstein, Chopin Scherzo the famous one. Though not totally there yet technically, at least can play decently.

and its how tiring larh.

try it...

after like 2 hours on the piano for memory work (interuppted briefly for dinner) then went on to play the whole programme. GOSH.

but what an accomplishment. i shall do this everyday. 2 hours of technical clean up plus at least one play through. all the way for the next 23 days.

and i shall start psyco-ing myself:

i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist. i am a great pianist.

haha
ch

Papers to share...

2005-11-01T21:51:00.000+08:00

All A's people out there.

With me, i have a printed copy of NYJC Maths 9233 and Pioneer JC Maths 9233 Papers 1 and 2. Not really intending to do them, but printed already. who wants?

and who has solutions for Nov 04 Physics?

ch

Having Fun! or not.

2005-10-30T20:37:00.000+08:00

Was cooking today lalalalala. Wondering what kind of things i do when i dun study haha. if only i use that time to study.. hmm..

Thats going to be one of my next few signature pieces already. haha. Ah havent been making my 'famous' mixed fruits tofu. ie desert. got longan blah blah. damn nice one. today made the egg /tofu pizza. yumm.

Can change career to be cook yay.

-----

Chee Hang: Perservere! Don't Give Up! Hold on till the last breath!

easier said than done, but that's how im going to get past the next 41 days. sheez. These 41 days, i shall see them as a challenge. its going to be tough, stressful, and hard, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. im going to need all the help i can get to go through these. its time i proved to myself that im worth it.

and this is going to be the hardest task yet.

ch

Lucky!!!

2005-10-29T20:29:00.000+08:00

As of today, i got every single letter i have been waiting for. and i can say i'm DAMN lucky.

22 Nov: A's end.
25 Nov: FTCL performance exam
28 Nov: Erhu Grade 7 (NAFA)
9 Dec: Erhu Grade 6 (NUS)
10 Dec: NPVC Quarter-finals.

WOW!

but.

this is going to kill me mann... remind me, for as long as i live i will NOT do so many things again.

(like real. haha. how many times have i said it to myself)

but seriously lucky. damn damn lucky that there is NO CLASH! though the 9 and 10 dec will kill me the most, but bahhhh.

i cant wait for this year to be over.

...

hmm i have the feeling i missed out some thing. argh. cant figure out what.

ch

Alex Hitch Hitchens: Never lie, steal, cheat or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

My wonderful plan...

2005-10-27T20:25:00.001+08:00

... which i may never carry out or complete. but anyways. here it is.

Tmr (28/10)
- YJC Music Prelims Aural (with the 03 cambridge Malay listening)
- TJC FM paper 2
- Chopin Programme Notes
- Practise Erhu and Piano

Saturday (29/10)
- Practise and go for erhu lesson
- Clear up Bach Toccata totally and hopefully memorise it
- Chopin programme notes (tidy up) and Beethoven Programme notes

Sunday (30/10)
- Piano Lesson!
- Must still practise piano.

Monday 31/10
- Physics: TJC paper. finish up.
- Physics: Re-revise, start from beggining. Must really do my thermody.
- ALl programme notes
- Go down to Paragon.

Tuesday 1/11
- Holiday. haha. can afford to take a break.

Wednesday 2/11
- Physics again!

Thursday 3/11
- Holiday again hahaha.

Friday 4/11
- Do another Physics paper.

Saturday Sunday 5-6/11
- ERhu and piano lessons. practise practise practise.

Monday: 7/11
- Do one Maths Paper 1

Tuesday 8/11
- Morning can take abreak. afternoon 9233/01..

Wednesday 9/11
- Revise stats.

Thursday 10/11
- Morning 9233/02
- Afternoon read thru GP stuff. if i really want to

Friday 11/11
- GP!
- Practise erhu

Saturday sunday... 12-13/11
- whats new.
- Really revise physics like mad.

Monday 14/11
- Physics Paper 1 and 2

Tuesady 15/11
- Revise my fluids!

Wednesday 16/11
- Physics paper 3

Thursday 17/11
- Do an FM paper

Friday 18/11
- 9234/01

Saturday Sunday 19-20/11
- Pracitse piano erhu
- revise stats and mechanics
- Finally revise music

Monday 21/11
- Morning try to do an FM paper 2
- Afternoon 9234/02
- Night rush gamelan!!

Tuesday 22/11
- my worst day. Music paper 1 followed by Maths S. haha
- TAKE A BREAK!!!

Wednesday Thursday
- Go studio prac, and prac piano like mad..

Friday 25/11
- FTCL!!!

ok thats all for now.

remind me ok.

haha

j

My wonderful plan...

2005-10-27T20:25:00.000+08:00

More and more countdowns!

2005-10-26T20:04:00.000+08:00

so. as of today, 26th Oct, the days are as such:

27 days

30 days

57 days

86 days

more to come. haha.

-----

if u really think about it, everything is a double-edged sword. hmm. the ability to cut both ways. good and bad. positive and negative. well. hmm.

-----

beginning to wonder if i should spend more time in my own home for a change. instead of treating it as a hotel, or not even coming back to it at all for more than a day.

-----

do all these studying sessions really work? are they effective for me?

-----

do i worry too much? what's the problem?

-----

interestingly, this year's A levels, to me, should be more manageable than the O's two years back. yet, i seem more ill-prepared, and i'm already thinking of totally neglecting one subject just because other things, to me, are more important than the A's.

-----

Is it the O's that I still cling to? No, not the exam itself. That period of time.

-----

If i wished for time to stop, it wouldnt be now.

-----

If there's a place i want to be now, it wouldnt be here.

-----

If there's a thing i want to do now, it wouldnt be this.

-----

If there're people i want to meet, they wouldnt be here right now.

-----

get it?

-----

how wierd.

-----

ch

Relief.

2005-10-25T19:41:00.000+08:00

Thats the one word to describe how my prac(s) went.

some things, hasnt happened before, probably will never happen again. as i was told, it even happens to the most seasoned, so well. i recovered. at least i hope i did. the marks may prove or disprove me.

which only proves i'm still human.

thank you, anyway.

-----

the kind of things i get in my mailbox nowadays, both the email and the house mail. gosh.

-----

quote:
'b) a standard operatic aria* (in original key) or one movement from a standard instrumental concerto
c) three art songs* - one each in French, GErman and English

...

*Applicants should be prepared to sing the vocal line while palying, translate the text and establish the dramatic context of the aria'

gosh. how hard. and i didnt even apply for voice haha. guess where. probably not going.

oh by the way. my name is mr chee hang see. so the letter went 'Dear Chee,' haha

-----

the other thing i got in my letter box.
letter from Trinity college

gosh

Diploma: Fellowship in solo piano
Centre: 0841 Singapore
Candidate's Name: See Chee Hang
Examination Session: Nov/Dec 2005

You are requested to attend the following examinations:

blah blah

Date: 25 Nov 2005!!!!

gosh 3 days after my A's end!!! exactly one month from today!!! how will i be ready!!!

and its at 17:05 hrs. last candidate i suppose, will take until 6pm.

im so going to die.

die die die die die

screwed.

-----

help

ch

TOMORROW!!!

2005-10-24T21:48:00.000+08:00

Practical tmr! both erhu and piano!

ARGH!

stress...

ch

Smile!

2005-10-23T22:26:00.000+08:00

Practical exam in two days! Tuesday!!! 9392/2 and 9392/42! AHHHH

so. this means. the following two days, i shall not use my hands for anything except for practising. haha. i shall get servants to feed me yay

and must practise smiling!

ergh how fake. i'd rather cry for chopin

ch

Time flies...

2005-10-22T22:06:00.000+08:00

oh gosh. one more month! exact!

haha one more month to what?

go figure. not that hard.

-----

this is an interesting convo i had with this chs junior standing at bishan mrt this afternoon, waiting for people to come to board the bus for chs open house.

me: you're in sec...
him: sec 2
me: oh that means.. blue badge?
him: yar.
me: haha same as me
him: oh! then you are sec what?
me: i'm sec 2 too! (with a look on my face that says that i'm not sec 2)

by the way, i was wearing RJ school u when i said this! poor guy. he went like 'oh sorry sorry'... i didnt catch his name though, his badge was facing away from me.

but he was quite bored, standing there alone, waiting for his lunch break.

-----

i cant believe how time flies. no i'm not going to go into all that again so dun worry.

but yar, time really flies.

-----

eeks. my neck is stiff. shoulders are stiff. playing is stiff. 3 days to A lvl prac.

and i have to get used to my erhu in 3 days? gosh. as in. another sound. erks.

-----

things undone:
FM 2 mock
GP mock
Physics paperS
the extra maths papers i have lying around at home
the maths s paper i have at home
programme notes.

-----

ch

Post note.
was listening to my chopin nocturne i recorded on friday. gosh. i want to cry. im not trying to be ego or what but i think my chopin is finally peaking. at the right time. and it will continue to grow, i hope. unfortunately im not playing that chopin for npvc. how stupid of me, choosing a scherzo instead.

fine.

i played chopin on wednesday evening in school, to an almost empty LT. but i felt satisfied then more than when i was playing to an audience. this chopin, so tragic, so passionate, its a private affair. almost like a secret love life between me and chopin, but he's dead by the way. how can some people listen to things like this and go, ' huh emotional MEH?' i mean. gosh. its his most tragic output. and as of now, i have a story for it, a love story, a sad one, about losing a loved one. lau says im shallow, and he says its for the love for a grandfather. well, i cant say he's wrong, nor can i say i'm correct either. though Ms Yang did laugh at my story and said, how modern. ha.

my teacher heard my story too, and thought it reflected in the music. i rmb she asked me if that story related to myself. fortunately, no, not presently.

another friend listened to it and commented, how come chopin is so tragic. that was way back in june. but this friend appreciates this chopin more than some people.

and on friday, this guy from CE came up, told me he was one of the people who sneaked into the lt when i was practising on wednesday, and said my chopin was nice. didnt asked which one it was, cos i practised the scherzo too. but i think the scherzo, though impressive and virtuosic, is nowhere near the nocturne. oh have i said it yet. Nocturne Op 48 no. 1 c minor. the saddest one.

and also the hardest one, given the doppio movimento part, just look at it. triplet chords in both hands, and still have to play a melody and bass line over these repeated chords, and be heard. haha.

by the way, i realised piu meant different things in italian and french, and it almost cost me my interpretation. cos there's a section poco piu lento. i took it as a little LESS slowly, but should be a little MORE slowly. haha.

on thursday, i was almost in tears after i played chopin. yes, chopin has that effect. if this happens during A's, sighs. and with khachaturian after that i will just break down after i walk out.

if i can still walk.

my knee still hurts.

And so...

2005-10-21T21:10:00.000+08:00

I just realised i have used this title before. general, not too specific, can write anything. mm.

And so...

Open house just ended. What a day. Music marathon. tiring. super tiring. remind me never to do something like that again.

yet, i realise that it is only when you are a student that u have these kinds of opportunities, to play, to enjoy making music. to do it with people you know, people you can joke with, people who are close to you, people whom you like. as opposed to strangers, who pay you just that THEY can be in the spotlight on stage, and you are yet another accmpanist who earns like $40 an hour. by the way i'll be upping my charges soon. an LTCL accompaniment dist cert is not something that you can ignore. haha.

so. as i take a rest later, i guess, i will just hoep that today comes again. even though, yes, exhausting, tiring, stressful. but. i will want to do it again. and again. (well without injuring my knee again)

so just a month and one more day to the end of A's, and another 3/4 or so of a month til the end of NPVC, and exactly a month (22 dec) to my next time on stage. and right after that, a month before confinement in tekong. how time flies.

if i had a wish, it would be that time will stop. in JC life or Sec life. id prefer the environment of chs, but i'll hope for the company of meppies. yay.

sighs. is it really the end of yet another chapter in my life? or is the end just another beginning, no matter how cliche that is?

sighs. so nostalgic.

-----

some people never know when to back off. its amazing how little stress and anger one can withstand before exploding. and yes i'm talking about myself. i knwo myself, and that i am violent, and i explode, quite easily. esp in stressful times. and when people can just call you up and waste all your time. sometimes if i just ignore the phone, i might be better off.

but i never really keep people away.

do i ever say no?

ever?

cheehang

Updates!

2005-10-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

This following announcement is made because i feel maybe it would be nice to make it.

Raffles Junior College Open House 05: Raffles Ahoy.
21 October 2005, this friday. 1pm onwards for non-rafflesians (morning is some matriculation day for Raffles Programme.)

Yes so to juniors who intend to go to RJ or just want to go somewhere to look, why not.

and for people already in RJ and want to take a break from studying from A's, haha hop down to LT2 from 8.30 to 10.30am and 2.30pm to 6.30pm. There's Music Marathon by the JC2 MEP students, which includes ME!!! (and according to Lau, this is turning into cheehang marathon haha im going on stage 6 times that's one third of the programme!!!)

so thats about it.

to sec 4s who may chance upon this blog:
if you're choosing JCs, choose wisely. dun choose for branded names, or go because your friends go. not that i'm putting any JCs down, but choose wisely. trust me, i know.

ok, thats that.

argh.

gosh. im so stressed. am i? ergh. -sniff-

i need a break.

or else i'll break down.

eeks.

ch

NS...

2005-10-17T20:54:00.000+08:00

gosh. and i thought my date was early.

now i look around almost every other guy i know gets enlisted on 5/6/7 Jan. thats the first week of january! and im like 3rd week because of the C1L9 thing. haha.

and i was complaining this afternoon that i'll be lonely after u guys go in and blah blah. then shaun was saying that i get all the girls to myself. hmmm. not a bad idea. hahahaha.

gosh. Grosse Fugue!!! fellow meppies will know what i mean. hah. aiyar shld have analysed that the last time instead of 131.

im going to die for physics. erks. thats my worst subject right now. well, GP, but er. haha.

ch

farewell.

2005-10-14T20:48:00.000+08:00

today, sadly, was farewell assembly, the 2nd last assembly the J2s of 05 would have together. last is the results day. heh.

i find the time i spent in the classroom with my teacher more enjoyable than the one in the hall. it was true, how after everyone and everything is starting to get used to each other and things run smoothly, its time to say goodbye. though it was kind of stupid since we all come back for revision lectures and blah even after farewell.

ah.

am tired now.

will type more someday. have just too much to say.

ch

happy!

2005-10-12T21:01:00.000+08:00

yay finally able to get to do music paper 1 before maths S on 22nov!!! yay!!!

111/100. possible?

ch

Mindef says:

2005-10-11T20:56:00.000+08:00

THE ENLISTMENT ACT, (CHAPTER 93)
ENLISTMENT NOTICE (FULL-TIME/OPERATIONALLY READY NATIONAL SERVICE)

You are hearby required under Section 10 of the Enlistment Act (Cap 93), to report for enlistment on 20 JAN 2006 (FRI) AT 12.45 PM to BASIC MILITARY TRAINING CENTRE SCHOOL 2 (BMTC SCH 2)

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO UNDERGO A 7 WEEKS MODIFIED BASIC TRAINING FOR FULL-TIME NATIONAL SERVICE.

Not fair not fair not fair not fair!!!

eeks i dun get to celebrate my 19th birthday outside. its a blasting 8 days before my birthday larh.

oh wells. no working end of this year, considering i only have less than a month's break after all my stuff are over and enlistment.

but. 7 weeks modified BMT means lalalala i'll be out very soon. i'll finish NS before 2007 ends, prob in october or something. they probably have too many clerks. haha.

hmm i'll get my A's results during my BMT! no fun. la. blah.

ch

School?

2005-10-08T20:54:00.000+08:00

School's over. yesterday. was the last day, though we hardly feel it.

probably because of some paper wif subject code 9392/03.

for those who ask why do i countdown to the end of A's and not the start, its because when do i start? and as of now, A's has started, with the submission of 9392/03 this coming week. yar its completed, with one more harmony test on monday to go. there. one paper out of how many down.

so. why not just see where the other papers are.

25 oct: 9392/02 and 9392/42
8 Nov 1400h: 9233/01
10 Nov 0800h: 9233/02
11/Nov 0800: 8005/01 & 1000h: 8005/02
14 Nov 1400h: 9246/01 & 1530h: 9246/02
16 Nov 0800h: 9246/03
18 Nov 0800h: 9234/01
21 Nov 1400h: 9234/02
22 Nov 0800h: 9233/00 & 9392/01 at the same time.
but i'll be taking 9233 first.

so.

looks quite a straightforward time table, handlable. if there's such a word.

with that, i won't be taking any mroe exams for at least 2 years. written papers, that is. probably going on for FRSM muahahahaha.

-----

farewell assembly next friday. how fake. we all say goodbye during the assembly, then the next day we come back for revision lectures again. or for mep students that afternoon itself. haha. oh wells.

-----

and with farewell assembly, all the giving out of certificates of appreciation and merits. for those who have asked me why im not getting anything, er, ask my teacher. but the thing is, its just a cert. do i really need it? of course, having it will be cool, something to show after i leave RJ, that i have done something. but do i deserve it? i dunno. even if i do, do i care about fighting for it? haha. i'm always more of a background person, backstage, everything hidden. unrecognised, unappreciated, how sad right? but. i don't care. what i have done, i know. hopefully i know myself well enough. and others know or not, it doesnt matter. recognition will be nice, but if not, i can always boast to myself. to boost my ego. of course, im bitter about it, that others with seemingly less contribution are getting it. but do i cry and sulk all day abuot it? no. its just life. get on with it.

for those who are disappointed too, don't be. but i dun think there's anyone else who's actually disappointed that much though. haha. come to reality. this is rj. come on.

-----

i'm too passive. that's my loss. my 'limiting factor'. its because of my passiveness that i don't gain a lot of things. how? to ask myself, is it that hard to open your mouth instead of waiting? the thing is, its not. but. i don't do it. don't ask me why.

-----

the reality of the 'end of school' is finally setting in. gosh. two years of JC, will it be over just like that? not that i want to go through it again, though orientation again will be nice, and the concerts too. if i were to choose, will i come to RJ again? this was the question in the quality survey thing we did. For those who know me well will know my answer already, and the reasons why. basically, just see if there's anything in RJ that attracts me. the people, the place, the things, the... dunno. bleahx.

-----

do i ever say no?

people say i'm too kind.

-----

people also say i'm a bad liar. oh gosh.

-----

it's time to let go of some things that will never be mine. some things that i have always wished for, probably, if i believe enough, they will come. but not now. not in the near future. i should let go.

-----

perhaps i will indeed disappear.

-----

ch

by the way. i went to do boring things again.

You are sad because of the loneliness in your life

Why are you sad? [amazing pictures] For darker people
brought to you by Quizilla

Honouring my end of the promise

2005-10-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

1) Reply with your name and I'll respond with something random about you.
2) I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3) I'll pick a flavor of jello to wrestle with you in.
4) I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
5) I'll tell you my first memory of you.
6) I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7) I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.
8) If I do this for you, you must post this on your journal. You MUST. It is written!

by the way. got this frm shen ting.

Yay!

2005-10-05T04:41:00.000+08:00

at 4.40 am this 5 October 2005, I declare my Compo and Harmony Portfolio
DONE!!!

by 'done' i mean paged, ordered, and checked. not binded yet. must let teahcers see first...

but. yay.

and the recordings are reedited and sounds okay now. whew.

haha. i proved 1=2. lalala. so by induction, 0=1, 1=2, 2=3, 3=4, 4=5, 5=6, 6=7, 7=8, 8=9, 9=10.
so we don't need to submit harmony exercises (0) and we will have done the max of 10. cos 0=10. yay.

and Mrs Chee says i'm stressed. haha.

oh PSLE starts today!!! is it?

rain. rain. rain.

now this is definitely random.

lalalala.

i'm going bonkers.

ch

Children's Day!!!

2005-10-01T21:39:00.000+08:00

sugar, spice, and everything nice. these were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect little girl. but professor utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction:
chemical X.
*boom*
thus the powerpuff girls were born!
using their ultrasuper powers, blossom, bubbles, and buttercup, has dedicated their time to fighting crime, and the forces of evil!

lalala. Happy Children's Day!
and as lau said, happy vegetarian day and happy world music day too!

cant believe it. i sat through the powerpuff movie!!! haha.

the director is super smart larh. come up wif numerous stories, then work on the background. heh. like how mojo jojo came about and blah. and the mayor's special phone, and the 'saving the world before bedtime' haha oh gosh. im mad. heh. but well its children's day. muz enjoy mah.

-----

on a different note.

to all people who study music out there. which do u believe in:

1) starting from basics, building up step by step, and having your own interpretation and understanding to everything

2) do grade 8 stuff then slowly build up grades 1 to 7, and during which, you blindly follow what your teacher teaches and do not understand the music at all.

-edited and deleted for fear of being sued.-

i want my individuality. i'm a stubborn person. ask my school teachers and they will tell you that. but tell me to conform, and i will rebel.

perhaps, thats what makes me who i am. i proclaim i am an individual, and i do not need to conform. so it takes me a few more years to reach that standard which i'm supposed to play at. fine. so be it. even though im a greedy person who wants results fast, i want it my way. my own work. my own interpretation. i'd rather go and experience spring myself and go fall in love myself than to follow what is supposedly a 'perfect' recording.

sighs. so what if your students are all like that?

-edited and deleted-

-----

prelims results are almost all back. satisfied to a certain extent, but as always, could have done better. but for now, i'm taking a 3 to 4 weeks of study break. IE a break in studying. yar i'll go for revision lectures (more for socialising i guess heh) and i'll crash single maths lectures just for fun. but apart from that, until 1 week before the A's itself, i'm dedicating my life to the piano. unfortunately so. argh heck the A's larh. that's the last thing on my mind. it costs less than one exam of the piano larh.

-----

so. 52 more days.

ch

Clearly under...

2005-09-29T20:03:00.000+08:00

got back 4 results today. as expected. as in getting it back is in my expectation.

well the marks. hmm.

clearly underperformed. oh wells. haha.

54 days left.

oh thats the countdown to freedom hahahahaha

ch

School's starting tmr!!!

2005-09-28T20:29:00.000+08:00

Answer revealed: Curtis.

Okay.

something made me choose a thriller/scientific/mystery/mathematical story over a romantic one. Hmm... i wonder how come im so troubled by this choice. previously i wld have gone for the thriller just like -that-, but now. sighs. getting sentimental already. haha.

School's starting tmr. Ive totally wasted these three days doing almost nothing. Ha. save for going out and also doing accompaniment. heh. but tmr, getting back the prelim results, eeks. not fun. but seriously, i cant wait to go back to school, where things are much simpler than the world outside.

yar right.

And so, compo and harmony portfolios by next friday ie 7 oct. Is it any surprise that we are all suddenly panicking? anyway does 'panicking' have a k? so i've recorded my first compo too, which makes it 3 out of 3 recordings. except i need to get rid of the hiccups in sea fever, and need to do something abuot the bad intonation and rhythm of my quartet, but all in all, im done with my compos. but. i have a feeling if anything goes wrong, it would be my portfolio. a big slap in my face for not putting in more effort for exam fantasy, im hoping the recording can do some good. actually. do i care. even if i dun get an A for compo surely prac will pull me up?

yar and there goes higher music distinction. haha.

do i care.

yes. sighs

piano strings are very dirty. and pianos are made too low for people to bend over and pluck the strings. they shld do something about the piano, maybe make one kind just nice for people to pluck.

strings should have different colours too. or else you will have to mark them all. haha.

the joys of compo. heh.

Ah ravel... so beautiful... not him but his music... sheez. and perplex too. erm that includes him as well. to quote him: "You see, an artist has to be very careful when he wants to marry someone, because an artist never realizes his capacity for making his companion miserable. He's obsessed by his creative work and by the problems it poses. He lives a bit like a daydreamer and it's no joke for the woman he lives with. One always has to think of that when one wants to get married."

And he's right. I know personally, he's damn right. we music people can sometimes be the insensitive, irresponsible, and totally untolerable brats. this attitude i carry has cost me dearly, and i'm glad i learnt that lesson.

perhaps, one day, i'll be proven wrong, and ravel will turn in his grave. but. until that one day comes, i'm going to accept my fate and stay the way it is now. time and time again, i've been reminded of the previous time, the previous time, the previous times. and now i see ravel's own words, albeit translated, and how true.

i should learn from tchai. if you know what i mean.

when will that one day come...

ch

School

2005-09-28T20:28:00.000+08:00

This is interesting.

2005-09-24T20:54:00.000+08:00

-Applicants will be asked to read a Bach chorale at the keyboard from a score employing three C-clefs (soprano, alto, and tenor) and bass clef. They will demonstrate familiarity with the orchestral literature including, but not limited to, the classical symphonic repertory. Applicants will be asked to demonstrate score-reading ability in a variety of repertoire.

Three C clefs leh. wow. i cant even read one properly. haha.

-Applicants must be under 21.

er. let's see. im now 18, going on 19. by the time i get out of NS i'll be 20, going 21. woops.

-a major solo work (at least 10 minutes long) of the applicant's choosing

That's long. haha. okay, maybe not, considering all my pieces are >10 haha but its tiring leh.

-all string applicants must be prepared to play all major and minor scales and arpeggios in fluent tempo.

Muahahaha. keyboardists dun need.

-No pre-audition rehearsal with [provided] accompanist is permitted.

haha pay me i'll go and accompany you all the way there. means u pay for my air fare. haha. then u can prac wif me for as long as you want, no problem. haha.

Guess where. haha. probably somewhere where i won't be going.

Am seriously thinking of not doing solo-ing anymore after this year. full accompaniment. was thinking of double major in composing and acc. heh.

ch

And so...

2005-09-23T22:00:00.000+08:00

Prelims are finally and officially over. whew.

had some time to look thru my papers just now -- those i threw into my locker. Not very pleased with them but heh my standards are very different. anyway. hope for the best.

first day of school, thursday. getting back everything. cos why? i have ALL my tutorials. well except music. but. look.

9am F Maths
10 F Maths
12 Physics
2.30 GP

(of course, break at 8 and 11 and civics at 2, end at 4). so. and if not everything, friday theres physics lecture so haha. and music too.

went kayaking just now and im aching all over. er. as i said, i work out 3 months or lesser per year, only when i'm preparing for napfa. and i dun even pass it, not that i need to. haha. and other times, im content with sweating out under the sun for being a goalie. yay. or a striker that camps up there and doesnt come back. so i'm going to redefine recreation soon, and kayaking may not make that list.

ok i'm a weakling. bah.

not my fault.

can i refer you to this link http://us.news1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/uc/20050923/szi050923.gif

well if u can see it.

cute comic.

when im free i'll post it up. haha.

ch

Prelims are...

2005-09-22T19:58:00.000+08:00

... all but over.

One more harmony paper tomorrow.

Argh stupid F Maths paper 2. im taking the chance now to complain so yar go somewhere else if you dont want to see this. I'm going to be a spoilt brat. gosh.

-----

First time i couldnt finish the whole paper on time larh!!! If its a physics paper hey im fine but its FMaths leh. last 15 minutes, left with 1 more question, the either or. i stupidly go and do the mechanics one. SHM. argh. proved the motion was SHM. found the amplitude. thats about it. 4 marks. out of 14! then i got stuck on the rest, then when there was 2 minutes left, i went to look at the stats question.

damn. should have done the stats larh. i look, i could do the WHOLE damned question. this sucks. big time. my stats had always been more secure, even though i dun score. but algebra and probability means more to me than moving objects, or should i say physics. argh. spent too long on mechanics. and still had to leave questions blank. argh. i think i lost like 30 marks on this paper. wait correction. >30. nvm, this is nothing compared to what others have lost right? dont need to tell me. im just a brat. when people lose like 50 60 over marks and i'm complaining about a mere 30. yar. go ahead and scold me.

-----

ouch my back. really bad. even after went for ba2 guan4 still hurts, may have to see doctor again...

-----

yet another one. my reputation is at stake.

-----
ch

Ah choo

2005-09-20T20:58:00.000+08:00

Oh no. this is not good. nearing the end of prelims and i am falling sick? feeling feverish. argh. shouldnt have gone for prata just now heh.

reminds me of promos last year. into the 2nd week, my last 2 papers, then i got high fever. how nice.

and coincidentally too, F maths papers.

bad.

i heard pple fall sick when they crumble under stress.

i fall sick after i crumble under stress?

or am i stressed now? over what? the end of prelims? bah.

i seriously hate myself for all this.

heck. at most die.

ch

/Edit.

that aside. sighs. i think i'd be keeping up wif the trend if i say something about the prelims so far? hmm was blog hopping the other day and saw so many posts on how prelims were and blah.

ok, my madness has completely gone. and i wish i continued being mad. i missed going around saying 'full marks full marks!!!' and now im feeling so bad about the physics paper. i totally lost it at thermody. and i lost my nuclear, and data response was bad. gw just said on monday that if u practise enuff physics u can do a paper in half the time. i admit, it is my prejudice and bias-ness against physics. dunno why. i used to love physics but now...

two more papers, Maths S and F maths. now i'm sort of regretting not going for all those maths S sessions. heck. if you dun have anyone getting ungraded where do you get people who get distinctions?

was doing RJ FM paper 2 just now. gosh. 4 mechanics questions and i took more than 3 hours already. and thats only less than half the paper. and i need to revise my stats quite badly.

if anything, it's time to panic.

argh.

i wish prelims was over. dun care how i did but i just want it to be over... -cry- really need a good break next week. must go out and play. heh.

so many missed chances. so many things missed. so many things un done, unsaid, un- ... aiyar. it seems that time passes so fast. 'time and tide waits for no man'. a pity i'm not no man. it seemed only yesterday that orientation took place, and why am i reminiscing now? cant help it, suddenly one... i miss......

aiyar.

heck.

this is killing me.

how to survive.

and i just found out that my toe may not heal after all. ouch. im going to be crippled lar.

life's unfair?

no. its fair. we just never want to admit it.

never mind.

can just die.

Then again, thank you. You really know how to make people feel better. I wish there were more of you around.

ch

In the middle of prelims...

2005-09-18T20:36:00.000+08:00

... and my mind is wondering all over the place.

For a long time now, i have acquainted with this special someone, or these special someones. It was actually love at first sight, and i probably will never know if this feeling is mutual. My first was shorter, only 1.10 in height, but she was nice. Never knew her beyond the outside. She watched me grow, and helped me achieve what i have today. my second is taller, though i'm still taller. better touch and control. she was someone i enjoyed playing, enjoyed her company.

Yet, i have never been thankful. She was always there, for granted. For years, the way i have treated her: gently, angrily, forcefully, caringly, in anguish, violently... I have never thanked her.

Maybe that's why i will never progress on. I must be thankful, must talk to her. Never had, dunno if i ever will if my mind havent wondered.

I need to name her too, if im going to keep her for quite some time.

Oh...

she's my piano. heh.

Yesterday's Rach 3 was, how should i put it, fulfilling. Met quite a few pple there, incl the VJ PE teahcer. Heh. my YJ frens too. though this senior asked me, 'have u ever heard of this guy [Marc-Andre Hamelin]? I have heard of a lot of russian pianists before and never heard of his name!' wait. is Hamelin Russian? haha.

It was almost frustrating, that he was so big, and from the sides of Circle 2, it almost seemed as though he was bigger than the grand. oh one thing though, i wished out school got that grand. easier to push. hAha. but anyway, Hamelin is just big. it pissed me off that he seemed to play so effortlessly, and yet the sound that came out was nothing simple.

Yet, i felt that the 1st movement was a bit on the lethargic side though. Probably it was how he looked. He looked so calm, so tranquil, not even moving a bit, that it didnt fit in the picture i had of Rach 3. But the 3rd movement was wonderful.

maybe i sat a bit too high, too much to the left. bad eyesight. heh. but his fingers were just a blur, he did those octave jumps with ease. okay, someone once commented and asked me how i managed to play Brahms' rhapsody no. 1 with all those left hand jumps and blah. okay, practise. but to see someone else do it was a whole different thing.

i wonder how rach did it himself. hmm...

oh, and i think the orch simply enjoyed playing rach 3 more than the Glinka and Shos of the first half. even Lim Yau. Maybe because he thought he was hidden by the piano he moved so much more during rach. heh. not that he was dull in the first half. but looking at the conductor definitely is interesting.

oh wells. chem tmr.

eh wait i dun take chem haha.

ch

Don't

2005-09-15T23:04:00.000+08:00

Next time, after any paper, don't bother asking me how it was. Haha. here are a few outcomes:

1) i'm delirious and nothing serious comes out of my mouth
2) i'm damn demoralised and too sad to answer
3) i'm damn demoralised and still act as if its okay, so i might just cry any time
4) i'm damn confident and you seriously don't want to know that
5) i'm super pissed already because a thousand people asked me how is it and i'm super bored with answering the same thing, wadever it is
6) i'll just say its okay.

sort of solved that problem by just running home after a paper. yay.

so hheyz! i actually survived these 2 days of 4 subj ie 4 papers! this is how i shall evaluate myself:
Physics paper 3 is quite shaky. I'll need to work harder for papers 1 and 2.
F Maths is quite bad actually. but by now i managed to solve all the questions already. i actually dreamt of the answer to one of my questions THIS MORNING!!! eerks.
Music... Haha... shld have really trusted my spotting. i spotted 2m for analysis, it really came out. but then i always guessed wrongly so i went and studied 1m a bit harder. heh. then aural was so much writing and comparison bleahx. stroke of luck, i think i got the quartet correct. haha. my notes did help hahahaha. then malay was bad. i crapped thru that 15 marks larh heh. the history essay was bad too no Beet no Schubert no Mendelssohn NOT FAIR!!! but did the one that compared finales with the 1st movt, talked about haydn and beet. heh.
Maths 2 was crap. u wun want to know how i did the paper.

so im taking a break tmr and over the weekend. Rach 3 on Saturday!!! and my next paper's on tuesday so i'll start studying physics again on monday. haha. then f m. going to heck maths S.

=o)

So...

2005-09-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

So how many papers more to go?
Music 1
Maths 2
Physics 1
Physics 2
Maths S
F maths 2
Harmony (Music 3)

7!

i dun believe i survived today. physics was okay, did a wierd combi of 1,3,5,6 cos i forgot all my thermody which was so easy. but still. bleahx. spent too long on fluids, then rushed through the tarzan question my mechanics is how strong larh. heh.

so f maths i went in with graphic calculator yay. ms wang didnt even check the memory till near the end of the paper, but didnt really use. couldnt do 3 questions, but i think can get A.

or should i still continue to psyco myself and keep saying 'full marks full marks can one' haha ive been doing that the whole day. even trhough i left questions blank.

so yea 500/500 here i come!!!

anyway ms wang likes to confuse people wif abbreviations. maybe its so that the lit people dunno what she's saying. like maybe she can say formula booklet instead of MF-11 and graphic calculator instead of GC. i was quite stone at first too when she said 'write down ur calculator model. those who used GC write it too' i was like wad is GC? then i realised its the thing that i didnt use and was still on the top left hand of my table... TI 83 plus how cool is that larh can do row echelon for you. or REF and RREF. heh.

so now over the weekend i shall learn how to use gc to do lr and cor and also how to compute my Sum x and x - x bar sq and how to get my theta dot and x double dots.

haha fm rocks.

ch

Tomorrow!!!

2005-09-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

Prelim all written papers start tmr and end 2 weeks later... Its quite amazing how fast it comes. Hmm... and everyone's mugging. Take a look at everyone's nick on MSN and pple are saying like mugging or i need to mug or stuff like that. depressing leh. haha. so all the best to the J2s all around singapore.

ps read gabriel's blog. quite interesting.

ch

Dreams.

2005-09-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

And here i am, discussing dreams again. have like thousands of my dreams coming true, like losing my phone, yucky A's timetable -- yar having to do maths S and then music with only 1 hr break. id rather the other way round. and its like my dream come true lor. the good things never come true one.

so i should stop sleeping. bleahx. i'm super tired now.

there are certain things which i dare not commit, and i wonder why. it may be because of my past experiences that tell me not to commit. maybe because it is not the time. but in any case, i dare not, and when will I? i dunno. but in any case, thanks for the memories. People come and people go, but you will not be forgotten. big smiles.

and so i'll move on, just like the last time. or times.

should i even bother to complain about paper 42 today? though i must admit, yes it is a relief another paper is over, though i wish practical wasnt over cos the written papers come after that. well, lunch (or tea, seeing that it was 4+ when we had lunch and it was considered the dinner set at Han's) was a rather good way to tell urself that hey one big paper is over. haha. what crap.

so now im trying my best to mug music, and ignore physics until tuesday. because in any case, i want to do better in music, even at the expense of physics. physics can go and die. bleahx. i even lost Sze's number so that means no consultations. not that i need it, because i dun see anything that i dun understand. yet. ha. but its the trouble of remembering it in the stressful and cold conditions of the stupid hall, with occasional green lights. and the stress of looking up and seeing the people (or person) in front doing so relaxed-ly and maybe with one leg crossed. ARH Physics O people. heh. my physics wasnt that bad one lor. i guess i lost confidence after O's.

and so i will now try to dream of better things, or else i will not sleep. i recall the dream about 156 on holland road. ha. not possible now ah? unless suddenly it turns into Marymount road then woila hahahaha.

okay, i'm delirious.

ch