sheez...

Disappointing...
On monday, i was on the way home on the train. i heard this guy talking to another on the phone, and from the gist of the msg, this was wad happened. this guy left work 45 min early to meet his friend, and his friend is going to be late. and guess what i heard in his phone convo. it is quite unpleasant to hear so many vulgarities thrown into one phone convo just like that. and dun complain that if u leave work a ******* 45 min early and ur boss finds out, u're ******* fired. hhey, u chose to leave early. and please, i dun think anyone else in the whole train would want to know all the things you say.

don't we get caught in similar situations sometimes? like how we get disappointed when we go to meet someone, and go to great lengths to do that, and that guy comes late, or stood you up. sighs.

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this guy i know, should i call person A. you are getting on my nerves. here's what i cant stand: you speak too much, too loud, and you never listen. you always assume so many things, and barge your way into activities that others have not invited you into, and may not even want you there, yet u take it for granted you are wanted. and not everyone wants to hear your comments at every single thing that happens. not everyone wants to know how you've spent your day. especially not when you never listen when other people speak, so why expect others to listen to you.

people don't complain in your face because they are nice. well. i'm not. check yourself.

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this other person i know, should i call B. stop complaining. and do something about it, yourself.

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C: hey, if you make a promise, you jolly well see through to it.

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Was talking to this person, D, over the previous weekend. really, thousand over people have told me to 'think about it'. What makes things worse is that, my mind is already bursting with millions of things to think about, and adding on to those, plus mild insomnia, is not going to help my case. i'm barely surviving on 3h nights, and sighs, how come it seems that others do work so much more quickly and efficiently?

think about it... about what? again, the future. over this week, have heard more and more news about how others are already applying for what Harvard, Yale, and what have you. people like me are stoning and hoping that nobody will notice that i'm like not applying anywhere yet. actually, does anyone really notices if i dun do anything? i mean its so opposite from being recognised for doing something. but for not doing anything... sheez...

sighs. i am trying to concentrate on my studies now, but it doesnt seem to be working at all. i wonder how i'm going to survive prelims, which start next monday. .......

on tuesday, i went: Hey, its 23rd Aug! in one month's time exactly, prelims are over!!! so am i being optimistic, or what? i was duly reminded: 'what does that say about when prelims are starting?' sighs. yar go ahead and do some personality test on me and tell me what kind of person i am.

havent been home much these few days, dunno why. the outside always seem much more appealing to me, home is not. i'm slipping back into the old ways of staying later and later in school for no apparent reason. oh wells, im trying to get some work done in school but still, im staying later and later. wonder why.

have been making many bad choices, wrong decisions, stupid moves. i need someone to rein me in, before anything bad really happens.

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there are times where i seriously look and feel like an idiot, now thinking back on them. sighs. its what driving people away from me.

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what ms wang said is true. in this period of time, people have less time for you, you have less time for others. please, dun let things sour between us?

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i'm actually home now. ha. am going to nap then wake up later. and do some work if i feel up to it.

cheehang