Future...

I was flipping through my diary during GP on monday, found that there was not one week that i didnt write anything in at all. gosh. i'm damn busy larh, even in the hols. what the... I don't even have time for myself? sighs...

There's something about saturdays that makes me smile even on weeks that are bad. it's like the special day of the week for me. i've been out every singale saturdady already. just to name a few: movie, bbq, outing, concerts (watching and performing), fairs, running around, yada yada... one thing is that i never do any work on saturdays, then always rush on sundays, then start the week on monday tired and stressed, which speaks volumes for the rest of the week. heh. this weekend is yet another busy one, but good thing is that National day break coming. whew.

ooh... scholarships and uni and all that sort... discussed (more like they say and i listen) with my parents again... and it set me thinking -yet- again. is the uni cert really that important? if i HAVE to study, i dun want to do maths and physics again. it has to be music. performance, accompaniment, musicology, pedagogy, anything. i want to go US. have partly been psyco-ed into trying for Julliard (which is like almost imposs for me but still.. trying...) but not without scholarship. the $33085 tuition and board fees in US$ is just too much. i mean, yar if i work extra hard and i get a job within this two years probably i can afford to go overseas but i think this is mad. i'll need a scholarship.

but the only scholarship that ive been looking so far which can let me take music overseas is a teaching scholarship. but that's a 6-year bond. SIX!!! that means i would have sold my life to the education system, probably teaching alongside mrs chee and mr gooi oh my gosh. and there goes my dreams of being rich and famous. Looking at all the music teachers around in school, life seems quite, erm, bad. and even if i get out of the system, will i end up JUST being a piano teacher? of course, it does sound good to have a stable job waiting when u come home from US but cheh. do i really want that? and if i cant convince myself that i want to teach, how will i convince the interviewers and get that scholarship? and all that talk my CT has been discouragin us from taking teaching scholarships... sighs...

oh well. one good thing. for all those who plan to go to Julliard and havent taken SATs, dun fret. not needed. Ha.

and today, my mum just asked me, why not try australia unis? its nearer. Heh. sighs. Australia? music? doesnt really go together. u hear more about uk and us. and uk now ah, sighs so unsafe. oh wells. what's australia really like? if i ever go to aus, wat i really want is a house along the great ocean road. where only the sea separates the southern-most point of aus and the antartica. i went up in a helicopter at that great ocean road before, it was really damn nice. i want to live there. away from everything. ahhh... studies? sighs...

ok still got work to do...

jackson