Trust.

To put it simply, trust is:

trust P Pronunciation Key (tr st)
n.
1. Firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing.
2. Custody; care.
3. Something committed into the care of another; charge.
4.
a. The condition and resulting obligation of having confidence placed in one: violated a public trust.
b. One in which confidence is placed.
5. Reliance on something in the future; hope.
6. Reliance on the intention and ability of a purchaser to pay in the future; credit.
7. Law.
a. A legal title to property held by one party for the benefit of another.
b. The confidence reposed in a trustee when giving the trustee legal title to property to administer for another, together with the trustee's obligation regarding that property and the beneficiary.
c. The property so held.
8. A combination of firms or corporations for the purpose of reducing competition and controlling prices throughout a business or an industry.
There’s more… just go to… where else… www.dictionary.com haha.
Okay…
Trust, to me, means to be able to depend on someone, something, or some –whatever-. Hmm. I learnt most about trust when I play music. Duets, trios, quartets, accompaniment, chamber playing, orchestra, choir blah blah blah. And the different degrees and types of trust…
1) Choir. Trust in the conductor to know what he’s doing. Trust in your fellow section to remember what they are supposed to do. Trust in the whole choir knowing what to do.
2) Conducting: trust that whatever u have said before will be remembered.

Want to spend a bit more time on other stuff. Cos its more important.
Soloist: You trust ur accompanist to be able to bring out what you want to bring out. Trust in the accompanist to remember what has been discussed earlier.
Accompanist: trust in the soloist to really bring out what he/she promised, cos you don’t want to drown out or not coordinate with the soloist.
The main thing about the soloist and the accompanist is about how much the two people understand each other, how much they know each other. I have learnt from experience that I cannot just do accompanying for any person out there without having spoken to that person, not talking about practicing yet. Cos if the person out there is a total stranger, u never know about his/her personality, how daring, how passionate, how emotional, how musical, u can never help to bring out the good things in him/her, and almost certainly add to his/her misery by contradicting and all that… The same worry in the soloist as well…

In duet playing, it’s a totally different story! U have to cooperate with your partner (or partners, in the case of more than duets) to bring out what’s best for the few people in the group! There’s no way you can go about doing what you like and get away with it. No way. Which is why duet playing is even more hard work. Not say that accompaniment is any easier, but in any case, solo-ing is the best. Least work. But wells. Where’s the fun in that?

Had a long talk with my teacher today, who had a long talk with Mrs Seah. Haha. Oh wells such a small world my teacher knows every teacher in the music scene larh. But anyways, they plan to push me overseas, and say my accompaniment is strong. Haha. I remember how I used to (and still) hate solo-ing. It’s no fun facing things alone. Although yar there are times when u have to be alone but it’s like what I said, not fun. Cooperating, doing things with others (and stop sniggering ba-gua people) is where u actually learn more, and also present more. Although the risk is higher, but the pay-off is also better. Satisfaction of a job well done is more also, and of course celebration is better with more people haha. Oh where did that come from?

Argh Grieg. I vow that, while I’m still alive, I shall compose something that equal the amount of emotion and passion that has to go into Grieg’s Sonata for Violin and Piano in C Minor Op 45. Something for solo piano, I promise. And when that day comes, it will be the most wonderful day in my life.

Hmm I need to do research on Bach (again) Beethoven (again) Chopin and Khachaturian. Some people have commented that I am mad. In their actual words, “Chee Hang!!! You’re MAD!!!” in a sing-song voice. Haha. For taking an FTCL exam in my A-level year, I’m mad? Hey u haven’t seen what I’m doing… I’ve done an LTCL accompaniment already, then my FT’s coming up, then my erhu exam.. then NPVC. Haha. I’m mad? I think I’m totally un-salvageable.

Some time ago, I was asked why I do all these things. An answer I got was that I loved taking exams. Another person asked if there was a point in doing this. And I seriously don’t know. Sheez.

Another time, when I was super busy and stressed up because of everything, I was asked, if I really had to do all this, and I really enjoyed them. Is it necessary, is it a must, or do I just want to do them. Well, till now I still can’t answer, but talking things out have certainly helped clear my mind a bit. =o)

I can say I enjoy accompanying (that’s why I do so much of it) and I enjoy doing what I do. Whether it’s necessary or not I think I will never know. Till the day I die, I will probably continue doing all these while my life slowly withers away.

And so, have I totally given up on Rach? It seemed so long ago that I spoke of Rach 3 and the likes of it. And now, it seems that all my love has gone to Grieg, and Rach 3 just seems like an old flame right now. Perhaps, one day I will return to her, and find back the love that was once rejected. But no, I have not forgotten Rach 3, and I will continue to spend time with Rach 3, only now I’m closer and more attached to Grieg Op 45.

I am almost tempted to put down a countdown for A’s right here, right now.

And guess what…

I will.

5 months and 2 days to the beginning of it. Muahahaha.

Anyways, good luck to me. There’s a competition in 4 days, and wow my duet and quartet has never met together before. And I know my duet partner has not yet learnt the piece (neither have I, but she being an FTCL holder I suppose she can handle) and the first time we will be practicing it is 1 day b4 the comp. And the quartet: Haha. Oh wells nothing to say we are just super pro. Yeah mann

Hmm have been walking pass venezia so many times these days… so hard to resist buying something from there but wells. Have to resist the temptation bleahx. Lets countdown to the next Venezia encounter: 25 days (end of CTs haha).

-chee hang