The 5 People You Meet In Heaven

I just watched it today, on TV. cable. as in i recorded it from a long time ago, and my first in dunno how long plonking myself in front of the tv and i picked this out to watch.

and watched it with a certain sense of scepticism. Probably because its just me.

this story was about a guy named Eddie, who died right at the start of the show. He went to heaven, and met 5 different people in 5 different heavens, who answered his questions that were not answered when he was alive. He met a person whom he indirectly led to death, his captain from the war days who shot him to save him, but died himself anyway, the person who used to own this theme park where he worked, his wife, and finally a girl he killed but did not know during the war.

how did he die? the ride was about to plummet down, and he saw a small little girl at the bottom, so he dived forward and tried to save her, but he didnt know if he succeeded. he only recalled he touched her hands. and he asked each one of the 5 people, but the first four said they could not answer him. the last said that he saved her, but not pulled her but pushed her away. then he said, 'but i felt her hands!' and she said, 'it was my hands u felt, pulling u to heaven, to safety.'

in it, one of the persons, the third, told him something. why did she say so its because (argh long story) he felt angry about his father. but then he learnt the truth about his father's actions. then the lady said, 'no one is born with anger. anger comes from within, from what we keep to ourselves and build up within us.' which led him to forgive his father. anger. sighs.

the main point of the story is how one person is connected to the next, and his actions will affect the next's, whose actions will affect the next, and so on. and so its a whole chain. wow.

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I am having recurring dreams again. This time, its slightly more clear. Its always one person, but i dunno who. i have a feeling i recognise the person, and im quite sure its a she. haha. but i dunno who she is. and this time, im carrying her, walking across a building at night. then we exit the building, and its grass, then the road, then a hill. but all along, i dun feel her weight.

sighs. what do these dreams mean?

*****

something's missing in my life. i dunno what.

*****

sighs. i have been hoping for some better response, but it has never time. i wonder, is it because i havent done enough, or has others done more, or is the response not going to appear cos the person is just too happily living in the present?

*****

why does the good guy die?

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in some stories, in an attempt to show that fairytale love stories are not possible, they deviate from the normal stories, but end up with yet another fairytale. if life was that easy.

*****

Life is really short. Is there any point in doing all those things i am doing now? all these exams, jobs, people i meet, people i help... is it worth it?

i almost broke a promise just now. almost. im glad im still alive here, typing this, cos i am able to halt myself right before i step into the evil. aren't u proud of me. but in the first place, i should not have been tempted. it seemed so good, then i think of all the disappointments i will leave behind, all the things undone, and i stepped back. sorry. to myself, and to all those who have placed their trust in me.

*****

my health condition is catching up on me. i actually felt exhausted after all that activities in the evening. i cant believe it. probably the sleep that i lack. but now i still have so much to do, i dun believe its the hols. it doesnt seem like it.

sighs.

what a way to start the hols.

-ch