Long weekend

Yay. Finally have a long weekend coming up. April is almost over whoa a whole month of no hols i cant believe it. but yesh, May. I Love may. starts wif a holiday how better can things get? ok maybe june. Haha.

Is this going to be another long entry? haha we all wonder don't we?

This week has been full of ups and downs yet again. oh no. its so exciting isnt it. bleahx i was being sarcastic. i still cant believe wednesday night i actually stayed up to do GP essay, Vertical Motion, Discrete Random Variables, Continuous Random Variables, Charged Particles, Compo and GP and Continuous and Charged Particles were not needed at all. sheez.
but this time i stayed up, it felt much worse than any other time. damn. im getting old. or weak. or maybe its because i forgot to have breakfast, and was too lazy to go and have lunch. so it was like dinner wed followed by dinner thurs. by physics prac at noon i was feeling damn bad was tearing alraedy. physics prac was major bad man. cldnt understand any single thing. copied my readings and faked thru everthing else. argh. gp was prob as bad. i wasnt listening at all it was on religion sheez. i have many things to say but it wld sound damn bad. ok im not against anyone here but i just do not believe in all this. sorry.

then argh had to happen on my worst day somany things aiya to save further arguments shall not say here. those who know will know. those who are fated to know will know. those who are not fated, too bad.

fate, sheez. a lot of things, i credit to fate. why some things happen. Like my condition right now, nothing pleasing. Its something which i dare not say to anyone, ending up bottling up inside me, its not making me feel any better. maybe its just fate that its something i cant realli talk about. maybe its fate too that it happened to me and not to some other guy in the street. sheez.

oh syf. congrats to chamber, guitar, dances... all those gold, and some wif honours. congrats congrats, all hard work paid off. to the groups that havent, continue striving, im sure u'll all do rj proud. =) CO, chorale, band yes jia you!!!

i miss syf, the preparation, the feeling when u stand on stage facing the judges, singing ur all (actually singing just nice haha), feeling all those late nights paying off, bonding wif all ur members. i miss all that. sheez. why. i feel so empty right now, that's why i havent been around congratulating pple on their golds and all that. i feel left out. very. sheez. im not saying that i regret quitting chorale though. yar probably if im still in there rigtht now i wld be complainging about all those hours put in.

and theres something i realli agree wif mr lim on this. the music mr lim. haha. so rich a school, so many good trainers and conductors and instructors, how to not do well? but i'll take it wif a pinch of salt tho. its due to hardworking students too.

i want to shine again. my moment has probably gone but i want another one. is it that much to ask? i feel that im being boxed in, not given enough chances and opportunities that i deserve! this is SO unfair! but life is unfair... haiz... i look around i see so many lucky people. ok i consider myself lucky too but luckier pple around. and also not so lucky pple. cant we all be equal, not have anything to fight against, nothing to compete against? but that's wistful thinking isnt it.

it is going to be may. hmm why do i mention that? doesnt realli matter what month it is anyways no point haha. ok im rambling.

this is a long weekend. bleahx. ive a feeling im going to slack it off.

haha failed my own audition yay. so mad.

fell out wif some pple over the week. or some person. damn. now we're not even talking. heck. can do without.

i keep my phone in sight a lot? oh wells. probably cos my leg's numb can never feel vibrations. and sometimes msges are improtant, esp when pple try to reach me early in the morning.

argh please dun suan me or tease me in the morning. no point, i cant respond. too tired.

relations wif high up people. do we realli need these connections to survive? i wonder.

haha saw a guybeing interoggated by 5 girls today about his views on husband and wife and careers and such. lucky me, the only other guy around was safe. heh. im not about to discuss that in detail here lest i die.

but still wat i tried to say this afternoon was true. i realli didnt mind if i married a rich wife and i was the so called house-husband. i mean, who cares? image problems? what kind of image do i have right now anyway? yar i wasnt saying that to be safe, it was real.

some J1s are damn nice, some are damn bad. im blessed to know both kinds. some are too irritating but whocares now. i have 6 more months to go. b4 im out for a study break. and another one more b4 i escape school totally, andprepare for ns.

argh i need a break.

rest well, dun overtire urself. somethings are better left undone. don need to rush everything. listen to me for once k?

ch