Lies

Some people lie because they think it doesnt matter.
Some people lie because they think it won't be found out.
Some people lie because they want to get away with something.
Some people lie to push the blame to others.
Some people lie to sabotage.
Some people lie to get help.
Some people lie to get people to like them.
Some people lie to become popular.
Some people, however, lie because they are considerate, because the past hurts, the truth hurts.
Thank you.
Although it is not necessary, and i can take it, it does warm my heart to know that you care.
Don't ask me how i found out, u should know cos u're quite careless urself.
But still, thank you. You might want to know there isnt a need to anymore. I have gotten over it.

Lies.
The way to cover up a lie, is to tell another lie, and yet another, and yet another, until u are in it too deep to get out. I have faced so many lies in my whole life, and i cannot say whether im impressed or disgusted by how easily some people can lie just like -that-.

Sometimes, lies are necessary. There is one thing that i've been consistently lying to myself about, because the truth hurts. And there is one thing that i've been lying to some others about, because the truth is too sensitive, and i do not want to know the outcome of telling the truth. Those that i lie to probably know i am lying, but thanks for not saying that out loud.

Lies.
If u say something to urself enough times, it becomes real. Its like how u keep saying, i walked 90Km today, and true enough, u feel so tired by it soon, and u keep telling people that u really did walk 90km.
oh wells wad to do.

of course its not so simple, some things are worse. but then again, i dunno whether to be amused or wad by the state of our minds to make the false the truth just by hearing it enough times. Its no longer 'seeing is believing', but 'hearing enough times is believing'. -sighz-

shocking. how some lives are just so fragile, and just disappear just like -that-. is there afterlife? will i be able to know before i encounter it myself? death is such a sensitive topic around me, it almost never gets brought up. is there anyone who can safely say, they are not afraid of dying at all, and they have no regrets for it? i believe it can never prepare myself for death if i know its going to happen tomorrow. so many things undone, so many things unsaid. so many things unaccomplished! ergh. sighz. life is too short, too precious, yet sometimes a waste of time, cos when we die, we bring nothing along. u come into this world with nothing and leave with nothing. is it worth it fighting so much for ur life? when u are going to lose everything? are all the money in the world worth it? are all those achievments worth it at all? do we realli need them?

so many questions, but how many can be answered, if any, at all? i cant answer them myself. i cant even explain why i do so many things now, when i know life is so short. is it just ego, or a desperate cling onto something which i'll eventually lose? im losing a battle, that is for sure, is there a need to hold on to my rifle and shoot one more person before i go down?

are all my achivements going to waste? all those money spent on me, fees, exams, medical fees, luxuries... sighs.

-ch